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When I die, I want you to cremate me and throw my ashes in Tom Selleck's face.

"Burger War" is the tenth episode in Season 1, being the tenth episode overall.


When Bob's eccentric landlord, Mr. Fischoeder, pays the family a visit, he informs Bob that his rival across the street, Jimmy Pesto of Jimmy Pesto's Pizzeria, wants to take over Bob's lease so that he can expand his gift shop. With little time and not enough money, the Belcher family must cook up some business or luck to save the restaurant.


Bob and the family are waiting at the restaurant for their eccentric landlord Mr. Fischoeder, to see if he will renew the business lease. When Fischoeder arrives he warns Bob that his business rival, Jimmy Pesto wants to build a gift shop on the current site of Bob's restaurant. And unless the rent is paid in full within the next few days his lease won't be renewed.

As they are always late with payments, Bob and Linda are unsure of how they will make the deadline. Bob complains that Tina is in love with Jimmy Jr. and Louise is friends with the twins, Andy and Ollie Pesto. These relationships are at odds with Bob's own feud with Pesto. When the kids arrive home from school, Jimmy Sr. puts a banner on his restaurant saying his restaurant is now also serving burgers. Bob and Linda head over to Pesto's to complain. Meanwhile, the kids sneak into Jimmy Pesto's and reveal that Bob's regular customers Mort and Teddy eat at Jimmy's restaurant as well. As Jimmy continues trying to get Bob's Burgers close, the Belchers devise methods of obtaining the rent money, with Bob and Linda taking suggestions from the kids. Gene suggests live music, Tina suggests slow dancing and Louise suggests voodoo. Linda suggests putting out flyers stating that the food will be half-price. Later that night, Jimmy tastes his own burger, criticizes it, and takes it off the menu.

On the day the rent is due, Louise plans to get Jimmy's hair to control his mind (through voodoo). Tina wants Louise to help her dance Jimmy Jr. back into remembering that they are dating and Gene wants her to get a music gig. Louise accepts the idea but states she needs a lock of their hair (even Gene has to cut off his rat's tail). Louise makes a voodoo doll out of a potato with Tina's hair on it and asks Andy and Ollie to get their brother's hair for Tina, which they do. Louise comes back home with the twins who need to work on the voodoo dolls made out of potatoes, so Bob gets Gene and Tina to hand out the "half-price" fliers to the public.

Gene and Tina return home and mention that they gave a flier to Jimmy Pesto, who subsequently decides to sell his own food that night at half-price to customers with a Bob's Burgers flier. This leaves Bob with no customers; even Mort's mother decides to go to Jimmy Pesto's instead of Bob's (where Mort was going to take her). As a last resort, Bob's attempts to construct the difficult-to-make burger called the Meatsiah in bite-sized pieces. Bob gets Gene to sample them at Jimmy Pesto's restaurant, as a ploy to get customers to return to Bob's Burgers to have more.

Louise completes her voodoo potatoes in the basement but needs to get Jimmy Pesto's hair. Lying that the hair she wants is a donation for mustache cancer, she finds out that his restaurant's piano player is sick. Louise decides to tell Gene that he can perform a gig there. Gene arrives for his gig and Louise plays the drums with him. As Gene's wish comes true, Tina slow dances with Jimmy Jr. Linda discovers that Gene is playing his first gig so she goes there to watch.

Bob finishes making his burger only to realize that his family went to Jimmy Pesto's. Bob goes over, wearing Gene's burger suit with the burgers as samples. Bob gives the customers burgers and ends up having a fight with Jimmy outside the building. Mr. Fischoeder arrives after Bob and Jimmy have stopped fighting, and he lets them and the others go to Bob's Burgers to get the rent. Bob claims that he does not have the rent money, so Mr. Fischoeder announces the restaurant lease will not be renewed. However, as he is doing so, he smells the Meatsiah burgers and tastes them. Mr. Fischoeder realizes that Bob does not care about high-volume business, but rather, cares about the quality of his food, so he lets the restaurant lease be extended under some circumstances.

The episode ends with Gene playing music, Tina slow dancing with Jimmy Jr., Then Louise realizes that voodoo that he worked as Jim finally got his first played live, Tina finally able to dance with Jimmy Pesto's son, then Louise believed to be God. Andy and Ollie getting out of the basement and dancing along with the other dancing customers as Jimmy Sr. angrily walks back to his restaurant.



  • H. John Benjamin as Bob
  • Dan Mintz as Tina
  • Eugene Mirman as Gene
  • John Roberts as Linda
  • Kristen Schaal as Louise

Also Starring

External links[]

Episode Navigation vte
Season Episodes
The Demo
1 Human FleshCrawl SpaceSacred CowSexy Dance FightingHamburger Dinner TheaterSheesh! Cab, Bob?Bed & BreakfastArt CrawlSpaghetti Western and MeatballsBurger WarWeekend at Mort'sLobsterfestTorpedo
2 The BelchiesBob Day AfternoonSynchronized SwimmingBurgerbossFood Truckin'Dr. YapMoody FoodieBad TinaBeefsquatch
3 Ear-sy RiderFull BarsBob Fires the KidsMutiny on the WindbreakerAn Indecent Thanksgiving ProposalThe DeepeningTinarannosaurus WrecksThe Unbearable Like-Likeness of GeneGod Rest Ye Merry Gentle-MannequinsMother Daughter Laser RazorNude BeachBroadcast Wagstaff School NewsMy Fuzzy ValentineLindapendent WomanO.T. The Outside ToiletTopsyTwo for TinaIt Snakes a VillageFamily FracasThe Kids Run the RestaurantBoyz 4 NowCarpe MuseumThe Unnatural
4 A River Runs Through BobFort NightSeaplane!My Big Fat Greek BobTurkey in a CanPurple Rain-UnionBob and DeliverChristmas in the CarSlumber PartyPresto Tina-oEasy Com-mercial, Easy Go-mercialThe Frond FilesMazel TinaUncle TeddyThe Kids Rob a TrainI Get Psy-chic Out of YouThe EquestranautsAmbergrisThe Kids Run AwayGene It OnWharf HorseWorld Wharf II: The Wharfening
5 Work Hard or Die Trying, GirlTina and the Real GhostFriends with Burger-fitsDawn of the PeckBest BurgerFather of the BobTina Tailor Soldier SpyMidday RunSpeakeasy RiderLate Afternoon in the Garden of Bob and LouiseCan't Buy Me MathThe Millie-churian CandidateThe Gayle TalesLi'l Hard DadAdventures in Chinchilla-sittingThe Runway ClubThe Itty Bitty Ditty CommitteeEat, Spray, LindaHousetrapHawk & ChickThe Oeder Games
6 Sliding BobsThe Land ShipThe HaunteningGayle Makin' Bob SledNice-CapadesThe Cook, the Steve, the Gayle, & Her LoverThe Gene & Courtney ShowSexy Dance HealingSacred CouchLice Things Are LiceHouse of 1000 BouncesStand by GeneWag the HogThe Hormone-iumsPro Tiki/Con TikiBye Bye Boo BooThe Horse Rider-erSecret Admiral-irerGlued, Where's My Bob?
7 Flu-ouiseSea Me NowTeen-a WitchThey Serve Horses, Don't They?Large Brother, Where Fart Thou?The Quirk-ducersThe Last Gingerbread House on the LeftEx MachTinaBob ActuallyThere's No Business Like Mr. Business BusinessA Few 'Gurt MenLike Gene for ChocolateThe Grand Mama-pest HotelAquaticismAin't Miss Debatin'Eggs for DaysZero Larp ThirtyThe Laser-inthThelma & Louise Except Thelma is LindaMom, Lies, and VideotapeParaders of the Lost FloatInto the Mild
8 BrunchsquatchThe Silence of the LouiseThe Wolf of Wharf StreetSit Me Baby One More TimeThanks-hoardingThe BleakeningV for Valentine-dettaY Tu Ga-Ga TambienThe Secret Ceramics Room of SecretsSleeping with the FrenemyThe Hurt SoccerCheer Up, Sleepy GeneThe Trouble with DoublesGo Tina on the MountainAre You There Bob? It's Me, BirthdayBoywatchAs I Walk Through the Alley of the Shadow of RampsMo Mommy Mo ProblemsMission Impos-slug-bleSomething Old, Something New, Something Bob Caters for You
9 Just One of the Boyz 4 Now for NowThe Taking of Funtime One Two ThreeTweentrepreneursNightmare on Ocean Avenue StreetLive and Let FlyBobby DriverI Bob Your PardonRoller? I Hardly Know Her!UFO No You Didn'tBetter Off SledLorenzo's Oil? No, Linda'sThe Helen HuntBed, Bob & BeyondEvery Which Way but GooseThe Fresh Princ-ipalRoamin' Bob-idayWhat About Blob?If You Love It So Much, Why Don't You Marionette?Long Time Listener, First Time BobThe Gene MileP.T.A. It Ain't SoYes Without My Zeke
10 The Ring (But Not Scary)Boys Just Wanna Have FungusMotor, She BoatPig Trouble in Little TinaLegends of the MallThe Hawkening: Look Who's Hawking Now!Land of the LoftNow We're Not Cooking with GasAll That GeneHave Yourself a Maily Linda ChristmasDrumforgivenA Fish Called TinaThree Girls and a Little WharfyWag the SongYurty Rotten ScoundrelsFlat-Top o' the Morning to YaJust the TripTappy Tappy Tappy Tap Tap TapThe Handyman CanPoops!… I Didn't Do It AgainLocal She-roPrank You for Being a Friend
11 Dream a Little Bob of BobWorms of In-Rear-mentCopa-Bob-banaHeartbreak Hotel-oweenFast Time Capsules at Wagstaff SchoolBob Belcher and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad KidsDiarrhea of a Poopy KidThe Terminalator II: Terminals of EndearmentMommy BoyYachty or NiceRomancing the BeefDie Card, or Card TryingAn Incon-Wheelie-ent TruthMr. Lonely FartsSheshank RedumptionY Tu Tina TambiénFingers-looseSome Kind of Fender BenderfulBridge Over Troubled RudySteal Magazine-oliasTell Me Dumb Thing GoodVampire Disco Death Dance
12 Manic Pixie Crap ShowCrystal MessThe PumpkineningDriving Big DummySeven-tween AgainBeach, PleaseLoft in BedslationStuck in the Kitchen with YouFOMO You Didn'tGene's Christmas BreakTouch of Eval(uations)Ferry on My Wayward Bob and LindaFrigate Me KnotVideo Killed the Gene-io StarAncient Misbehavin'Interview with a Pop-pop-pireThe Spider House RulesClear and Present GingerA-Sprout a BoySauce Side StorySome Like It Bot Part 1: Eighth Grade RunnerSome Like It Bot Part 2: Judge-bot Day
13 To Bob, or Not to BobThe Reeky Lake ShowWhat About Job?Comet-y of ErrorsSo You Stink You Can DanceApple Gore-chard! (But Not Gory)Ready Player GenePutts-givingShow Mama from the GraveThe Plight Before ChristmasCheaty Cheaty Bang BangOh Row You Didn'tStop! Or My Mom Will Sleuth!These Boots Are Made for StalkingThe Show (and Tell) Must Go OnWhat a (April) Fool BelievesCrows Encounters of the Bird KindGift Card or Buy TryingCrab-solutely FabulousRadio No You Didn'tMother Author Laser PointerAmelia
14 Fight at the Not Okay Chore-ralThe Amazing RudyThe PickleoretteRunning Down a GeneBully-ieve It or NotEscape from Which Island?The (Raccoon) King and IWharf, Me Worry?Fraud of the Dead: Zombie-docu-pocalypseThe Nightmare 2 Days Before ChristmasMission Impossi-BobJade in the ShadeButt Sweat and Fears
15 TBA
Unknown season (order subject to change) The Big StieblitzkiThe Tina Table: The Tables Have Tina-edThe Right Tough StuffTo Catch a BeefDon't Stop Be-cheesin'For Whom the Doll ToesThey Slug Horses, Don't They?Hope N' Mic NightBoogie DaysDog Christmas Day After AfternoonAdvice Things Are Ad-NiceMr. Fischoeder's OpusLike a Candle in the GymSnackfaceThe Place Beyond the PineconesThe Lost City of AtlanticInsomnibobWild Steal-ionsThe Shell GameThe Dead Bo-ats SocietyDad-urday Kite FeverMr. Safebody
See also: Episode Guide