“ | Ma'am, do you have fire? What, you don't want to give matches to kids? | ” |
"Comet-y of Errors" is the fourth episode in Season 13, being the two-hundred-and-forty-second episode overall.
Plot[]
At a comet watch party, Bob tries to keep Teddy from going off the deep end, looking for signs from the universe. Meanwhile, the kids try to make their comet wishes come true.
Full story[]
In the restaurant, Bob is nervously checking the countertops. He is nervous about his decision to install new ones despite not having the money, while Linda assures him that it's the right call and that Teddy will install them well as he comes in. Teddy is excited for the night, as the comet known as Kirby's Comet will be visible starting that night, and only comes around every 30 years. There is a watch party later at Scraggy Neck State Park, without any lights for miles, and he had invited Kathleen, who could not go.
The kids (particularly Louise) are interested in Teddy saying that the Rotary Club will be handing out wish paper to write on and then lights on fire to send a small puff of smoke into the air. But Teddy informs them that for a comet wish to come true, they're to make their heart "pure," such as by apologizing for past actions, though he says that is what the "wish people." do, whereas he is a "sign guy," who searches for cosmic signs. Teddy explains he was at the beach watching the comet 30 years prior and felt like something important would happen when he stepped on a big, rusty nail, and he feels cursed ever since due to his hair loss, weight gain, divorce, and stepping on more nails. Even as Bob says that a lot of that is aging, marrying the wrong person, and not watching where he's walking, Teddy still feels cursed due to stepping on so many nails and other misfortunes like having a dead bird fall on him twice (just that year), but hopes that the comet provides a sign and the next 30 years are "smooth sailing." The kids want to go to the watch party, and Bob admits that it's what they always said they'd do with the kids. Linda agrees to go.
That night at the state park, the Belchers arrive, with Bob apprehensive about being able to see the comet while Linda tells him that the clouds in the sky are supposed to clear up in time, while Louise wants the highly flammable wish paper, and the kids go off to find it. Tina is nervous about the "pure-hearted." aspect and apologizes to people there, such as Tammy and Jocelyn.
Even in the evening, Teddy catches Bob and Linda and says that Kathleen asked if they wanted to hike Gullivan's Gorge together (which Linda at first mistakes for a euphemism), and how far away it is, and while he likes her a lot, it's a big step, and he is nervous to go. Bob and Linda tell him to go hiking with her, but he thinks to wait until the comet tells him what to do. Bob sardonically tells him it's a great way to live his life, and Teddy tells him about letting the universe "talk" to him. That night, he will "put up an antenna." If he believes the signs point to 30 more awful years, then he will not go to the gorge with Kathleen and probably not see her anymore to not drag her into the bad next 30 years. Bob starts criticizing Teddy for thinking like this until Linda pulls him aside.
Linda tells Bob that as long as Teddy believes he's going to be happy, he will be happy and that it is his job to make sure whatever signs Teddy sees will be 'good,' to Bob's initial reluctance. They watch as Teddy tries to find a sign from the universe to decide what bag of chips to get before he flips a coin that lands on the regular variety, which he wants spicy. Bob is more distraught at helping, and Linda wanders to find a kettle corn vendor.
Gene and Louise find the table with the wish paper. They each get one wish paper and a paper launch pad, but Louise notices the huge unused stack of wish papers and wants them. Meanwhile, Tina apologizes to people such as Reggie and Coach Blevins for minor infractions such as not trying in PE, taking two mustard packets for a sandwich instead of one, and even a random woman for almost bumping into her.
Linda asks a neon ring artist where the kettle corn vendor is, as she was directed to it, and gets angry and goes off when told no one is selling kettle corn. There. Bob and Teddy walk around with Teddy, looking for signs, but he is staring up and trips on one rock and onto another. But Bob tells him that it is a good sign.
Tina tries to apologize to Tammy for throwing a dodgeball at her during lunch (which missed and hit Henry Haber in the head). Tammy is unsure why she is apologizing, and Tina explains that she wants to be pure of heart and get everything off her chest so she can wish upon the comet. Tammy wants to exploit Tina and declines her apology, so Tina doesn't get her wish. She asks Tina to go get her some hot chocolate to "feel better" about accepting Tina's apology. Tina hesitantly takes Tammy's offer and goes off to find some. Meanwhile, Louise and Gene returned to the wish paper table and asked for more papers (as it is one per person). To their delight, the lady gives them a small stack of wish papers to get rid of them when they start naming obviously fake family members.
Linda finds a popcorn dealer but is disgusted and leaves when she finds out he only sells plain salted popcorn. Bob and Teddy are watching the cloudy skies, and Teddy is antsy and decides to ask the nearby Star Geezers, a senior citizen star-gazing group, to allow him to look through their telescopes to see the comet (despite Bob trying to tell him that telescopes cannot see through clouds). Harold and Edith deny him since he doesn't have his telescope, but Gus offers to let Teddy use his. Teddy compliments their red flashlights, which Gus explains is so they don't get bright light in their eyes, as it can take hours to adjust their vision to the dark. Teddy is disappointed to learn telescopes cannot look through clouds and annoys Bob by being unable to figure out how to close his eye that's not looking through the telescope. Teddy soon sneezes on the eyepiece for Gus's telescope and accidentally blinds the Star Geezers with a regular flashlight he pulled out to find the eyepiece; in the process, Bob stumbles back and almost knocks over Edith's perfectly adjusted telescope, who yells at them to leave the area. Teddy feels he is cursed, and Bob quickly tries to tell him he isn't but trips and falls on a rock while walking.
Down at the beach, Teddy sits dejected and feels like the night was a waste of time, while Bob tries to get him to go back so they can find Linda to tell Teddy it's not a bad sign. Teddy pulls out his phone to call Kathleen and break up with her, but Bob physically tries to stop Teddy from trying to leave a voicemail. In their scuffle, the phone goes off, flying into the sand. Bob manages to reach it first to delete the message.
Louise and Gene write out wishes on the stack of wish papers, clearly excited. Tina finishes organizing Tammy's phone apps by color to have her apology accepted, but Tammy makes Tina pose as her and call her grandmother to wish her a happy birthday.
Teddy is depressed at the thought of 30 more cursed years, while Bob tries to cheer him up by telling him to look at how beautiful the ocean is when Mr. Fischoeder appears on the bluff above them. Fischoeder, having taken a lot of psychedelic mushrooms, believes he has magical powers and is parting the clouds for them before wandering off, thinking he has lassoed one. Bob notices the handyman walking into the ocean because Teddy thinks dunking himself will purify him and give him a "re-do." on the signs (and also needs to pee). Bob tries to call him back, pointing out how the water is freezing and that he can pee anywhere, but Teddy doesn't hear him. Bob reluctantly walks out into the freezing ocean to stop him.
Louise runs out of wishes while there is still a stack of wish papers. Linda gives up on finding the kettle corn when she encounters Fischoeder, still trying to "lasso" the clouds away to view the comet, and confusedly suggests to him he threatens them.
Bob reaches Teddy out in the water, with Teddy excited to see the comet soon, and Bob tripping on what he fears is a shark but is just seaweed. When Teddy asks if seaweed is a sign, Bob snaps and yells at Teddy that there are no signs and that the universe "doesn't talk," and everyone has control over their life, and if the last 30 years were terrible, it was because of Teddy and because life can be not good sometimes. Teddy is angry at Bob, saying the previous 30 years being awful is his fault, which Bob says "partially." Bob declares the universe doesn't care about them or anyone, and decisions can be good or bad. Bob brings up his decision to buy new countertops. If it goes badly, it will be his and Linda's mistake, not the universe's. Bob tells Teddy that his "dumb belief." might make him stop seeing someone great like Kathleen, and Teddy, angry and upset, walks back to the shore while telling Bob that he doesn't want Kathleen to end up with someone making the wrong decisions he makes according to Bob. Bob tries to get Teddy to return but trips into the ocean again.
Tina, having done more tasks for Tammy such as braiding her hair and unbraiding it two times, tells her that Tammy has been jerking her around all night, which Jocelyn agrees with, and suggests Tammy's heart is not pure, and she should apologize to Tina. Tammy is upset her wish might not come true (to have World Peace, a fancy brand of mascara) and apologizes to Tina for all the tasks, as well as some crude pranks and insults she made.
The clouds part, the comet shining brightly in the night sky, and everyone is in awe. Fischoeder tries to tickle the comet. The kettle corn vendor runs into Linda as she stares at the comet and buys all his bags. Teddy sees the comet and turns, dejected. Bob has made it to the shore and struggles to put his socks back on when a seal pops out of the water. The seal keeps staring at Bob, and he is amazed. In a one-sided conversation, he wonders if this is a sign like Teddy was talking about and asks if Teddy will be okay and if the restaurant will be fine if the seal keeps looking at him, which it does. Bob is overwhelmed by the "incredible" moment and hurries to find Teddy as the seal departs.
Bob finds Linda eating kettlecorn and asks where Teddy is to tell him about the sign. Louise and Gene roll up their wish papers but realize they don't have any matches and panic. Tina walks up, telling them that the wish paper table is out, so she cannot wish. Louise hands her the remainder since the youngest Belcher is depressed at how they cannot light them. Tina then reveals she brought the bathroom matches from home to her sibling's excitement.
Bob catches Teddy by the parking lot, and Teddy initially thinks Bob is going to yell at him more about how everything is his fault, but Bob tries to tell him about the sign, which Teddy doesn't believe at first. Bob describes the encounter with the seal and says that maybe Teddy is right. Bob also tells Linda how the sale made the countertops seem like a good idea. Teddy asks for his phone back, but they are soaking because Bob chased Teddy into the ocean, along with Bob's wallet. Teddy finds his phone still works and calls Kathleen to make a date.
Bob and Linda find the kids and the wish paper, all three making wishes as Louise loves the way the paper rises and burns into the air when lit up.
External links[]
- "Comet-y of Errors" on IMDb
- "Comet-y of Errors" press release via The Futon Critic
- "Comet-y of Errors" script via Springfield! Springfield!