| “ | Guys, guys, come on. We've all got our things, right? Me, I can make a sound like I have a baby stuck in my throat. | ” |
"Fast Time Capsules at Wagstaff School" is the fifth episode in Season 11, being the one-hundred and ninety-ninth episode overall.
Plot[]
Tina is put in charge of the Wagstaff School time capsule project, but she makes an enemy when she rejects Tammy's submission. Meanwhile, Bob teases Linda over her inability to whistle.
Full story[]
A ceremony is being held on the Wagstaff school lawn, the digging up of a time capsule the school buried 50 years earlier, with Frond president and Tina opening the locked box, which has a horrible smell. Inside, there is not much of interest, such as a dead mole, a cootie catcher, a yearbook, and a letter which disintegrates due to being chewed by bugs. Meanwhile, Louise listens on the radio for free Boyz-4-Now tickets at the Wharf Arts Center, which she wants to win to sit close to Boo Boo, in spite of her denials. Louise is caught listening to the radio by Frond but convinces him it is about the event. She overhears that the station is giving tickets to the 17th caller and calls on the emergency phone, but is only caller 12.
Later in the school hallway, Louise tells Tina about the sold-out tickets when Frond approaches Tina to ask her to coordinate setting up a new time capsule since it's a requirement he has no interest in fulfilling. Tina dreams of creating a perfect time capsule (unlike the previous one) for future students, and eagerly accepts.
In the Wagstaff cafeteria, Tina is taking submissions for the time capsule from students, but puts every item on the "maybe" pile due to her perfectionism and desire to have her "name" on the capsule. This causes frustration with the students, especially yTammy after Tina insults her item (lip balm).
At the restaurant, Teddy is double-parked and asks Linda to whistle if she sees a cop, but she admits she does not know how to whistle, to Teddy’s surprise. Bob says that he has never met a person cannot whistle besides Linda, and makes a remark about people hiding their shame at being unable since he is a self-proclaimed good whistler. Linda fires back that unlike bob, she can roll her R’s, which an embarrassed Bob fails to do. The two continue to argue before Teddy runs out due to his truck being ticketed.
At the cafeteria, Tina rejects a piece of wood Arnold claims to have karate-chopped, with other students complaining about how tough she is being at the other tables. Frond arrives to check and tells Tina that the capsule will be buried the next day, due to the school lawn being resodded over the weekend. He also gives her a therapy doll to bury, and is frustrated when Tina puts it in the "maybe" pile.
At another table, Louise listens to the radio for another pair of Boyz 4 Now tickets, but misses the call window and loses the tickets to Henry Haber. Louise walks over to Henry at another table, questioning him being a Boyz 4 Now fan, but he admits Susmita is a fan, causing Louise to walk away in anger.
Tammy brings a page of loose-leaf paper she pressed her face for the makeup pattern for the capsule. Tina insults it, causing Tammy to snap and decide to make her own time capsule that she claims will be better than Tina’s, calling everyone around to put their own items in, and that it will be opened in a week. Tina expresses concern as everyone puts their items in Tammy’s “Tam capsule” pile. She tries to convince other students that she will put their items in the main capsule, to no avail.
Tina goes to Mr. Frond asking if there is a way to cancel Tammy’s time capsule, but he refuses, noting he can barely keep other students from misbehaving, and says there will just be two capsules: the official authorized one, and the “cool’ one Tammy is making. Tina tries to take the therapy doll but Frond refuses.
At dinner in the Belcher home, Tina complains about how everyone wants to put their things in Tammy’s time capsule and that she will look ridiculous when her own capsule is opened and there is nothing inside. Louise is also upset at losing the tickets to Henry, and Linda uses this as a chance to taunt Bob by saying several rolling R’s. Bob in turn whistles, and the two try to outdo each other at the dinner table.
At Wagstaff the next day, Susmita breaks up with Henry (after he corrected her homework in a poor attempt at a romantic surprise), which Gene and Louise see, to Louise’s interest. Later on the school grounds, two holes have been dug as Frond announces the time capsules will be buried. Tammy’s capsule is a large tote box, while Tina’s is filled with barrettes and an apology note. Before they can be buried, however, Henry comes forward upset. He wants to put the Boyz-4-Now tickets in the time capsule as Susmita will not go with him to the concert the next night, and after watching the film Titanic, wants to make a gesture about his "lost love." The other kids and adults are shocked at what he suggests, and Tina tells home that though the tickets would save her capsule, he might need the tickets if he gets back with Susmita. Louise tries to take the tickets from him, before Tammy does so first and puts them in the capsule box, which then is buried.
At home, Louise and Tina fume at Tammy taking the tickets, before they both get the idea to dig up the capsule and take the tickets. Tina leaves to use the bathroom, but she and Louise do not realize they have different plans: Louise wants to use to the tickets to go with her sister to the show, while Tina wants o o put the tickets in her time capsule. Later that night, with Gene joining them, Louise explains the plan: Tina will dig while Gene blocks the view of her. Tina points out that someone will notice the tickets missing when the capsule is opened the following week, but. Louise has a plan for that too: once the tickets are unburied, Louise will take them to Ms. Selbo’s color copier and make fakes, which will then be placed in Tammy’s capsule and buried. The only time that it will work is after school, before Mr. Branca locks the building and fewer people are around. Louise lays out the plan in full, and Tina is convinced to dig based on her "crazy puberty Hulk strength."
The next day at the restaurant, Bob hides the order-up bell and suggests tauntingly that he will whistle when an order is up. Linda responds by knocking the old ticket spindle down, suggesting they will then need to "r-r-roll" the tickets in a ball and "th-r-r-row them away." The two’s competition upsets Teddy, who says everyone has their own things, such as him being able to make a muffled shouting sound with his throat and Mort clicking his jaws due to TMJ, which disturbs them.
At Wagstaff, the Belcher kids head to the equipment shed after school is out to take a shovel. Tina begins digging while Gene blocks her by doing tai chi. With the tickets out, Louise takes them to the main office and talks her way past Ms. Selbo’s question on her being in clubs as she claims, to copy the tickets. Outside, Tina begins rebuying the capsule when Tammy and Jocelyn show up with a shovel. Tina realizes they were going to dig up Tammy’s capsule for the tickets as well.
Tammy says that while she would be mad, the trio saved her time and demands the tickets from them. Louise gives up and gives the two the tickets, and they walk off. Tina is disappointed, but Louise reveals the real tickets from her backpack, having made several pairs just in case. However, when Louise says they can go to the show, Tina is confused and says to put them in her time capsule. Tina is confused and Louise says she was lying about not wanting to go to the concert, while Tina admits she didn’t want Henry to rush into anything.
After a short yelling match, Louise gives Tina the tickets to bury. After Tina puts them in her capsule and buries it, however, Louise reveals those were also fakes, and that she has many more in her bag. Tina reaches into the bag to get the real tickets, with the two sisters getting in a tug-of-war over the real tickets, as the crew with the new sod grass arrives. Tina finally s gets he tickets before they rip, and hopes that she will be vindicated with the time capsule. Louise tells her they are sisters and asks if Tina will choose people form 50 years in the future over the tow of them going to the show, telling Tina she can live her life or can put it in a box, and urges her to live. Tina sighs and says she doesn’t want her time capsule to suck, with Louise saying the last time capsule probably was bad because the kids then were more focused on living their lives out. Tina agrees to go to the show, while Gene is disappointed that he cannot go as well.
At the restaurant, the kids drop off their backpacks before the concert. Bob points out that one of the parents should go along to chaperone but Louise points out that the only way would be to pay a scalper $300, so he tells Tina she is in charge. Tina and Louise leave as teddy arrives. Teddy tells Bob and Linda that they’re a “handyman’s jamboree” that night and his colleague dropped out, so he cannot perform a song the two wrote. He asks a confused Bob to whistle the tune (based on "On Top of Old Smoky") while giving Linda lyrics to sing with rolled R’s, apologizing about a quarrel. The two see what Teddy is doing, and he admits that there is no jamboree, he just did not want the two to split up over this issue, which they dismiss (while noting that they did whistle and sing well together).
At the Wharf Arts Center, Tina and Louise see Tammy and Jocelyn being turned away for their phony tickets, but then are shocked to find their own tickets are fake and unreadable as well. As they walk off, Louise asks who has the real tickets, when they overhear Henry and Susmita inside through an opened door to the venue. Louise calls out to them, and Henry explains that Susmita heard about the Titanic speech and felt Henry was so romantic and impulsive. Susmita explains that she dug up the tickets right away and put fakes to not hurt anyone’s time capsule, with Louise being angry at her calling it a "victimless crime". The two decide to just go in.
Outside the center, Tammy, Jocelyn, Tina and Louise sit and stew, with Tina trying to look on the bright side by saying Henry and Susmita are back together, which doesn’t cheer the others. However, they soon hear the band performing a song thematically about growing up and the future, loud enough to be heard outside, and soon start singing it together.
Video[]
External links[]
- "Fast Time Capsules at Wagstaff School" on IMDb
- "Fast Time Capsules at Wagstaff School" press release via The Futon Critic
- "Fast Time Capsules at Wagstaff School" at the US Copyright Database
- "Fast Time Capsules at Wagstaff School" script via Springfield! Springfield!
| Season 11 Episode Navigation | v • t • e | |
|---|---|---|
| Dream a Little Bob of Bob • Worms of In-Rear-ment • Copa-Bob-bana • Heartbreak Hotel-oween • Fast Time Capsules at Wagstaff School • Bob Belcher and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Kids • Diarrhea of a Poopy Kid • The Terminalator II: Terminals of Endearment • Mommy Boy • Yachty or Nice • Romancing the Beef • Die Card, or Card Trying • An Incon-Wheelie-ent Truth • Mr. Lonely Farts • Sheshank Redumption • Y Tu Tina También • Fingers-loose • Some Kind of Fender Benderful • Bridge Over Troubled Rudy • Steal Magazine-olias • Tell Me Dumb Thing Good • Vampire Disco Death Dance | ||
| ← Season 10 | See also: Episode Guide | Season 12 → |