Bob's Burgers Wiki



— Common phrase
That checks out.
— Common phrase

Bob's Burgers[]

Season 1[]

Yeah, who wouldn't want to molest this face?
I hope they're using protection, because I am not taking care of that baby.
And I'm going to get my gun license, finally.
Turns out Dad has been putting murdered cows in our hamburgers.
We'll know you'll push on a cow's butt for half an hour without asking for help. Gotta have that butt all to yourself.
Kissing is like a fight with lips.
Dad, why does art crawl suck so much?
— "Art Crawl"
YOU smell like ointment and pee!
Alright, listen up! So all these suckers come out for art crawl. And they all wanna pay money for crap. So paint some crap and we can sell it.
Your room looks like it was decorated by a perverted jockey.
Sorry, I'm saving my spit and blood for my honeymoon.

Season 2[]

The treasure's in the crack of the ass, I can smell it.
And I told you I have a raging staph infection under here! Touch this hat and we all go down! You want to play dodgeball in the hospital?!
I smell fear on you.
— to Pam, "Beefsquatch"
Yeah! Messing with Tina is a privilege, not a right!
— "Bad Tina"

Season 3[]

Everyone who's got a knife, grab it! It's a fight to the death!
Full bars? Full bars! FULL BARS? She just gave us full-sized chocolate bars! Does she know? Oh my god! Was it an accident?
— "Full Bars"
Why don't you start speaking in words instead of your DAMN DIRTY LIES!
It's Louise, as in 'Jeez Louise, You're the best!
— "Topsy"
Oh, you son of a snitch! What's your favorite movie? Squeal Magnolias?!
— to Jeremy, "Topsy"
Ugh, no wonder no one likes women.

Season 4[]

I told you, wipe front to back.
Hey, I don't appreciate your lack of sarcasm.
Hey, Frond! Let's do lunch.
— in her story, "The Frond Files"
You have to pull, yourself, together! You have two children and a Louise to take care of!

Season 5[]

(screaming) Quiet! I don't know what kind of 'doing it' you're talking about, but you're too! Loud!
You just got out. Now you're going back in? You're like the Brett Favre of Thundergirls!
Paperwork? Don't worry about it, honey.
Dad, I'm nine. I spit out vegetables and hide them around the house.
Let's lead everyone away from the restaurant!

Season 6[]

Would you say Dad and Thanksgiving sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G?
I'm sorry, all of sudden you're a Santa expert? Did Santa grant you an exclusive interview you never told us about? Did you intern in the North Pole as an undergrad?
You hear me, people? I'm saying it loud and proud: I... LIKE... BOO BOO!

Season 7[]

Quick question: do you like boogers?
Oh, my God. Get it through your thick, round skull, Rudy!

Season 8[]

You went against the family, Tina!
Gene, you're gonna have to choose: Tina or me? I lost one sister today. Am I gonna lose another?
What's the point of waiting? Nobody gets better looking, huh? Right, Dad?

Season 9[]

I hope the aliens destroy the Earth right now.
And we're gonna breeze right past you now...

Season 10[]

But we've already spent so much of Christmas Eve without our mommy. (hugging Linda Belcher) We don't want to miss another solitary second.
Ugh. I'm not really a Spirit Week person. Honestly, I think Spirit Week is just an excuse for Mr. Frond to high-five everyone.
Your diarrhea face is the same as your meeting Wharfy face.
I mean, that was a bucket of bummer balls.
About what... the straight dope on soap?
Wow. Is your grandma my mom?
Dad, you're so good at touching strangers.
Oh, my God, my sweet, sweet Boo Boo! I mean... (scoffs) Whatever. I don't care. Calm down.
— in Tina Belcher's story, "The Handyman Can"
Save Boo Boo! The others don't matter!
— about Boyz4Now in Tina Belcher's story, "The Handyman Can"
What if I end up in a sleeping bag full of poop?! Is that what you're gonna say?!

Season 11[]

Dad, it's best to start with where Gene hasn't put his bare butt.
Dad, can we please stay focused on what's important right now?! For once in your life!

Season 12[]

I need you to find a rock, throw it at my head, and I'll have myself a nice rock nap.
Get your groove back!
Bob's Slopshop, this is Tina. I have weird neck sweat. How may I help you?

Season 13[]

Eat it! All of you, EAT IT!
I didn't expect to feel this way. I was focusing on Santa, but the best presents are sitting here, and they aren't even wrapped up.
Dig till our faces melt off!
And sometimes, yeah, people with louder, deeper voices get heard more, and that's really annoying. But that doesn't make me want to make my voice lower and deeper. That just makes me mad.
— "Amelia"

Season 14[]

I'm not a child! I'm nine.

Other media[]

The best part about working here is my dad's total disregard for child labor laws. It feels great to be an accessory to a crime every single day without even trying.
You think that’s bad? Try being nine!