| “ | Good luck cleaning up all this sand. Raise your hand if you're sticking around after to clean up sand! Yeah, that's what I thought. | ” |
— Joanne
| ||
"P.T.A. It Ain't So" is the twenty-first episode in Season 9, being the one-hundred-and-seventy-first episode overall.
Plot[]
Linda attempts to become more involved with the P.T.A., inspired by its seemingly perfect president, Joanne. Meanwhile, Bob tries to cheer up a hardware store owner after unknowingly making a joke about his pet parrot that recently flew away.
Full story[]
At the restaurant, the Belchers are unpacking toilet paper while Teddy works on fixing the dishwasher. Linda prepares to leave to attend a PTA meeting, hoping to impress Joanne, the PTA president, with her ideas, as the previous month another parent came up with an after-school tutoring program, which was successful after Joanne took them out to breakfast to discuss. Linda hopes to get one breakfast with Joanne, but is worried that Colleen Caviello will become the new treasurer, and will get rid of the "fun" in fundraising. After Linda leaves, Teddy says he needs to run to the hardware store down the street, Kim and Son's. After Bob says he's only been going to a giant chain store, Teddy gets mad but then suggests he go along, and they will be back in ten minutes. Bob takes the kids along with them.
In the Wagstaff school library, Joanne leads the PTA meeting, bringing up that they have a fundraiser for seventh grade science kits, but do not have a theme, and asks for ideas. Linda brings up her idea for the theme to be "Surfin' PTA," to include such things as a person in a shark costume serving champagne and covering the gym floor with sand. Colleen starts talking and brings up how the idea Linda has would be expensive in the territory of costing $9,000. Linda flips off Colleen and the topic is tabled for the next meeting.
At the hardware store, the kids run off to explore the store while Teddy introduces Bob to Mr. Kim, the owner. After some awkward conversation, Teddy goes to pick out an inlet valve, while Bob continues trying to make awkward small talk before noticing an empty bird cage and making an attempt at a joke by asking if the bird flew away. This makes Mr. Kim upset and run off, with Teddy explaining that his parrot did indeed fly away and Bob feeling horrible at what he did.
At the restaurant, the kids play with PVC pipe they bought at the store while Linda walks in, still angry at Colleen. Just then, Joanne calls the restaurant for Linda, and tells her over the phone that she loved Linda's ideas, and asks about having breakfast the next day at the Muffin Top to discuss them. Linda is excited, and agrees. The next day at the breakfast place, the two eat and chat, and Linda compliments Joanne on her PTA pendant. Joanne brings up talking to her husband "Bear," her husband Barry, who calls her ‘JoJo" in return, about using Linda more on the PTA board. Linda is hesitant, as Collen is running for treasurer and has an accounting background, but Joanne suggests Linda would be a better fit, to Linda's surprise. As Linda moves to pick up the check, Joanne pulls out her official PTA credit card and puts their breakfast on it. She also suggests Linda go with her on some errands for the rest of the day, collecting items from local businesses for the fundraiser's auction, and Linda agrees.
At the restaurant, Bob gets the call from Linda about her errands before the kids start running ketchup down the pipe into Gene's mouth. Teddy arrives from the hardware store, asking if Bob sent flowers to Mr. Kim. Unfortunately, Bob told the florists to pick out the most expensive flowers from the cheap section, which were in fact Birds of Paradise. Teddy is upset too, as thanks to the thoughtless bouquet, he lost his contactor's discount and has to pay full price for items before storming out. Bob decides not to do anymore to avoid getting in more trouble, btu the kids suggest he fix things with Mr. Kim. Bob reluctantly agrees but asks them not to do anything to make Kim more upset.
At a wine shop, the owner gives Joanne a basket for the fundraiser, but Joanne notes it is only four bottles, which is what they agreed upon, but she guilts the owner into giving more wine bottles, "for the kids." Ove the day, Joanne uses her PTA pendant to get shop owners to donate more items for the auction.
Bob and the kids try to come up with an apology gift for Mr. Kim, but after none of their ideas (such as a bird-shaped burger and a bird-themed card) work out, the kids make a flyer for the lost bird, but draw it with a top hat, roller blades and fart cloud. Bob rejects it.
At the next PTA meeting, Joanne announces that she and Linda got the items for the auction, then calls a vote on the fundraiser theme. She votes for Linda's idea, and with a majority of the votes, suggests not voting for the other two presented. Colleen points out that they cannot afford it as future treasurer. However, Joanne brings up the next vote for treasurer, and announces that Linda is the other candidate, to Linda and Colleen's surprise. With Joanne's support, Linda wins the vote, and Colleen storms out.
Outside the school, Linda approaches Joanne at her car to thank her for supporting Linda in the vote, before noticing that Joanne's trunk is full of the items for the auction. She offers to help bring them in, but Joanne says she will just take them home, and Linda notices other items like gift cards and candles. Joanne covers the items while claiming they are bad, and gives Linda a wine bottle and candle before driving off. Linda hurries off too after being approached by Mr. Larsen.
The next day, Joanne meets Linda at Bob's Burgers, and after complimenting Linda, asks her to sign a contract. Linda does not have a pen, and Joanne suggests using blood, before ripping off her face to show the Devil, then ripping that off to show Linda's face. Linda wakes up in bed from the nightmare, waking Bob as well. She doesn't feel good about the donation wine Joanne took and gave to Linda (which Bob unknowingly drank), and resolves to talk to her the next day. Bob begins comparing it to the bird situation before Linda falls back asleep.
Later at the Muffin Top, Linda tries to bring up the wine, before Joanne gives Linda her very own PTA pendant. Linda tries to bring up that PTA members should not be taking donated stuff for themselves. Joanne is silent, but after a brief moment says Linda is right, and starts going on how the PTA is almost a full-time job she's put into, that's not paid, and in "moments of weakness" she orders muffins on the PTA credit card because she feels she deserves it, breaking down crying. Linda tries to comfort her, telling her one muffin isn't anything, and Joanne further asks Linda if she thinks Joanne is a bad person. Put on the spot, Linda tells her to put the bill on the PTA card, before Joanne gives her the invoices, to approve purchases as new treasurer and put the info on spreadsheets.
At the restaurant, a guy walks in with a box about the missing bird, but first wonders about the reward. After the kids suggest an amount in the thousands, Bob offers ten dollars, and the kids give him the pipe which now has a hot dog stuck in it. The guy agrees, but Bob looks in the box and sees it is a pigeon inside, not a parrot. The guy gets indignant at being caught, and storms off with the pigeon and the pipe.
That night, Linda is in the kitchen, inputting the numbers on the laptop, and surprised to see the science kits cost 40 dollars each, and checks the website, Science Wow products. Linda sees that the price is the same, and Joanne is buying the kits at retail price. Linda wonders why she's buying them at that price, and notices the site is a division of "Jo-Jo Bear Publishing." She remembers Joanne noting how "Jo-Jo" and "Bear" and her and her husband's pet names for each other, and to her horror realizes they own the company making the science kits, selling them to the PTA with markup.
The PTA fundraiser is held later at the Wagstaff school gym, with the "Surfin' PTA" theme in full swing. Linda, Bob and the kids are in attendance, when Linda sees Joanne. Bob asks if she wants to do this, which she replies no, but has to, as Joanne didn't answer her phone and the national PTA hotline had no option to report the corruption. Joanne takes the stage from the Bleach Boys (Mr. Branca's janitor band) and thanks Linda before moving onto the auction. Linda however steps up to the mic and beings talking about how she joined the PTA because she was inspired by Joanne before revealing the pet names before Joanne takes the microphone from her.
Linda however grabs another mic from the band, and reveals about Jo-Jo Bear making and selling the science kits they are fundraising for, how Joanne makes the science kits then buys them at a high price. Joanne denies it and notes that Linda as treasurer is responsible for approving invoices. Linda agrees and realizes that was Joanne's plan all along, figuring Linda didn't know what she was doing, which she admits, hence why she called Colleen. Colleen then appears in the shark costume walking around (Bob saying that Linda figured it would be more dramatic). Colleen notes that after Linda left a weird message and went to her house, she looked over the spreadsheets Linda provided and after auditing every PTA expense for the last two years, found Joanne was skimming from it.
Joanne admits to the crowd that she does take bottles of wine and gift certificates, and says that only she would plan an event such as the fundraiser, before ranting about how no one ever checks the emails she sends out and that she will not be questioned by them, who are eating crab cakes she ordered on napkins she folded, and claiming she IS the PTA. Joanne tries to start the auction, but Linda takes her mic and calls a vote for removing Joanne as PTA president, which has everyone raise their hands in favor. Joanne admits defeat, but notes that none of them raised their hands to stick around later and clean up the sand on the floor.
The next day at Kim and Son's, Bob and the kids arrive to drop off a parrot for Mr. Kim when Teddy arrives, also having bought a parrot for Mr. Kim in order to get his discount back. The two race to the door to give their bird to Kim first, only to find that he already has bought a new parrot. An angry Mr. Kim sees them, and the others leave their birds in the store to run back to the vehicles while Mr. Kim now has to deal with three birds.
Videos[]
External links[]
- "P.T.A. It Ain't So" on IMDb
- "P.T.A. It Ain't So" press release via The Futon Critic
- "P.T.A. It Ain't So" script via Springfield! Springfield!