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Mmm, I'd valentine that.
Tina Belcher to herself

"Romancing the Beef" is the eleventh episode in Season 11, being the two-hundred-and-fifth episode overall.


Louise convinces her parents to cash in on the lucrative Valentine's Day dinner business, even though it means putting Bob and Linda's own Valentine's Day plans on hold. Meanwhile, Tina attends Tammy's Anti-Valentine's Day party.


In the Belcher kitchen at breakfast, Linda is reading an oddly romantic Valentine’s card from Gene, which concerns Bob. Louise points out he hasn’t done anything, and Bob and Linda note that there is a plan in place; the two will write out the ten things they love most about the other and tell them over wine. Unfortunately, they haven’t finished them yet due to getting distracted. Tina meanwhile is unsure where things are with Jimmy Jr. due to him leaving for an overnight wrestling meet before answering her question about Valentine’s Day; she instead is going to Tammy’s anti-Valentine’s Day party, meant for all the single eighth graders at the school who are sick of the romantic expectations for February 14 9due to being boy crazy, Tina is also to bring a bunch of Bob’s burgers to the party).

In the restaurant later in the day, Teddy is trying to give Bob and Linda ideas for the ten things lists. Bob is annoyed at Jimmy Pesto decorating his restaurant for Valentine’s Day when Jimmy comes over to brag about how his place is booked solid for the night with people still trying to call for reservations and mocks Bob for his lack of customers before leaving. Louise asks why they are not open for the night with Linda citing the lack of romance in the diner; however, Louise points out that there will be a lot of people out there who didn’t make a reservation anywhere and desperate to eat even at Bob’s. Bob is intrigued, and they start figuring out how to set up the restaurant. They borrow decorations and tablecloths from Teddy, who offers to pull out the booths so they can be tables. Bob figures the menu could be prix fixe, as he hasn’t ground up the chuck steaks for burgers yet. Linda says they can serve wine from her supply of bottles (from the backup bottles to the secret emergency backup bottles). Louise offers to have herself and Gene as table sider servers, offering things like roses to customers, while Tina declines due to Tammy’s party. Figuring they need a new name for the night, they come up with “Urge” out of “Bob’s Burgers.”

Gene and Louise make flyers for “Urge” to place around town, Linda decorates the restaurant, Teddy takes out the booths and drapes over the sign to read “Urge”. Tina gets ready and leaves for Tammy’s party. That night, Bob is amazed at how the restaurant now looks: low lighting, decorated, the booths made into tables with partitions in the middle so two couples can sit at each. He’s less impressed with Gene dressed as Cupid using Bob’s t-shirt as a diaper. Teddy stays to dine, as he can fit on the one remaining counter stool. Bob is concerned about his and Linda’s Valentines, but the concern becomes more about the lack of customers at first. Bob is ready to close when couples start coming in, and becomes thrilled when they are now a fancy successful restaurant.

As the restaurant is packed, Bob is cooking the chuck steaks while talking to them. Linda is taking orders from couples who are arguing about not making reservations for the night. Louise and Gene are selling paper roses and serenading couples, respectively, for tips. All is well until Hugo arrives with a flyer, expressing surprise and disgust at the true location of “Urge”. Bob is scared, until Hugo tells them he is there not as a health inspector but on a blind date with a woman named Cheryl whom his mother has set him up with. He is seated near the restroom, while Bob is still nervous since they are likely breaking a lot of codes in setting up the restaurant.

At Tammy’s house, Tammy is going over the anti-Valentine’s Day party with its black decorations and theme, before everyone puts in their hands to take the oath (“Hearts are farts and Cupid is stupid, tonight we take our chance on no romance. I so vow”, which Jocelyn thinks means they married Satan). Tina is excited by the good clean ant-Valentine’s fun, until Tammy’s parents, the ostensible chaperones, leave the house to see different movies.

At the restaurant, Bob is excited by how full the place is and awkwardly tries to converse with customers while Gene sings at customers for gratuities (and Louise offers to make him stop, for gratuities). Linda is still serving uptight and passive-aggressive couples. Louise reveals that they have a wait list of people standing outside, exciting Bob, who figures they can do a second seating, but Linda is brought a little down because it will push back her and Bob’s reading of Valentines, but they still go with it. Teddy points out Hugo sitting by himself. Hugo’s date is late, and he keeps texting her to no avail. While Linda assures Hugo she is on the way, Hugo notes to Bob that the restaurant is over capacity, with light levels below OSHA standards, and with candles with an open flame permit, and Gene in his diaper, threatening to call the fire department if his date doesn’t show up and eh has nothing left to do. The Belchers assuage him for a while.

At Tammy’s house, Tina is telling boring stories to the others until Tammy “randomly” picks an “Ultimate Snog Jams” playlist of music and lowers the lights. Tina tries to tell her to avoid the romance in the party and to watch each other’s backs as “anti-Val pals.”

Hugo runs out of texts under his limited texting plan. The Belchers figure that his date is not going to show up, when Hugo says the only way he can feel better is to have the fire department shut them down. Needing a way to stall him, they lie and say his date is there, but got nervous and hid in their employee bathroom out of embarrassment and an upset stomach. Hugo buys it and sits down, pacified, also flattered in a way that he gave a girl diarrhea.

Tina washes her face at Tammy’s, trying to resist any Valentine’s temptation. When she leaves the bathroom, however, she spots Tammy about to kiss a boy, and pushes them apart, but Tammy is upset, and says that trying not to be romantic is romantic, so that’s the party now. Tina is horrified at the “anti-anti-Valentine’s” turn as Tammy and the guy go in the closet for six minutes to kiss.

Gene and Louise “serenade” Hugo, who notes to himself how glad he is to not be sad and lonely like the nearby Teddy. Jimmy and Trev arrive in the restaurant, with Bob saying they are too busy to be insulted. Jimmy notes how packed in and drunk the customers are, and says how proud of Bob he is, to Bob’s frustration.

At the party, Tina is doing what she can to keep people apart but soon loses track of everyone and lament’s Valentine’s Day. She sits with a boy, Austin, on the couch and notes that just because they are the only ones not kissing doesn’t mean they are going to kiss. She tries drowning out the music with a made-up song about barf. However, she and Austin lock eyes and nearly kiss, until she realizes what’s happening and runs out with Austin to get away from the romance.

Linda and Bob are beat while still seating people in the restaurant. Teddy is shocked by the check but decides he can splurge on the meal rather than rent or heart medicine. Bob and Linda lament how they missed their Valentine’s, keeping Hugo stalled with a lie he will eventually figure out, and Jimmy being proud of Bob, but decide it is worth it. Hugo heads to the employee restroom to check on Cheryl and ask her through the door. He nearly geos back out after being told he is clingy, but Gene rushes back, needing to go but with someone else in the customer bathroom and no time to run upstairs, runs into the employee restroom. Hugo sees that no one is in there before Gene goes in, and realizes that Cheryl was never there. Hurt by the lie and that she never showed up, Hugo tells the Belchers to shut the restaurant down.

On the street outside Tammy’s house, Tina and Austin have run to a streetlamp and go their separate ways, with Tina happy at beating Valentine’s Day. However, as she walks away, she gets a text on the emergency cell phone from Jimmy Jr. wishing her a happy Valentine’s Day. Tina blurts out that she loves Valentine’s Day, but denies it when Austin overhears.

At “Urge”, Bob announces that they have to close early as Linda blows out candles. Tina arrives in time to see and asks Louise what happened. Bob and Linda start talking about how they were winging it and threw in candles and such to make it fancier, before going into how the stuff like reservations just adds pressures to making the day perfect, and eventually starts talking through their list of reasons they love each other (such as Bob loving how Linda gave up all the date night stuff just to make their night perfect and Linda loving how Bob is a dreamer who wanted a fancy restaurant for one night). Tina notes that her parents are saying their Valentines out loud in front of strangers, and while Louise tells Gene to play “baby making music’ for the customers, Cheryl finally arrives, recognizing Hugo from his mother’s description. She apologizes and explains that she went to the wrong Urge, a sex toy shop and porno theater in Bog Harbor, and her phone battery died. The wo hit it off, and Hugo tells Bob to re-Urge the place. Bob however wants to go back to the old restaurant style, and makes burgers for everyone waiting to order. However, he and Linda are hesitant about doing this again the following year as Louise suggests they make up the place for President’s Day.


External links


  1. Due to a rain delay at the 2021 Daytona 500 on February 14, 2021, this episode was pre-empted in the US but aired on CityTV in Canada.

Episode Navigation vte
Season Episodes
The Demo
1 Human FleshCrawl SpaceSacred CowSexy Dance FightingHamburger Dinner TheaterSheesh! Cab, Bob?Bed & BreakfastArt CrawlSpaghetti Western and MeatballsBurger WarWeekend at Mort'sLobsterfestTorpedo
2 The BelchiesBob Day AfternoonSynchronized SwimmingBurgerbossFood Truckin'Dr. YapMoody FoodieBad TinaBeefsquatch
3 Ear-sy RiderFull BarsBob Fires the KidsMutiny on the WindbreakerAn Indecent Thanksgiving ProposalThe DeepeningTinarannosaurus WrecksThe Unbearable Like-Likeness of GeneGod Rest Ye Merry Gentle-MannequinsMother Daughter Laser RazorNude BeachBroadcast Wagstaff School NewsMy Fuzzy ValentineLindapendent WomanO.T. The Outside ToiletTopsyTwo for TinaIt Snakes a VillageFamily FracasThe Kids Run the RestaurantBoyz 4 NowCarpe MuseumThe Unnatural
4 A River Runs Through BobFort NightSeaplane!My Big Fat Greek BobTurkey in a CanPurple Rain-UnionBob and DeliverChristmas in the CarSlumber PartyPresto Tina-oEasy Com-mercial, Easy Go-mercialThe Frond FilesMazel TinaUncle TeddyThe Kids Rob a TrainI Get Psy-chic Out of YouThe EquestranautsAmbergrisThe Kids Run AwayGene It OnWharf HorseWorld Wharf II: The Wharfening
5 Work Hard or Die Trying, GirlTina and the Real GhostFriends with Burger-fitsDawn of the PeckBest BurgerFather of the BobTina Tailor Soldier SpyMidday RunSpeakeasy RiderLate Afternoon in the Garden of Bob and LouiseCan't Buy Me MathThe Millie-churian CandidateThe Gayle TalesLi'l Hard DadAdventures in Chinchilla-sittingThe Runway ClubThe Itty Bitty Ditty CommitteeEat, Spray, LindaHousetrapHawk & ChickThe Oeder Games
6 Sliding BobsThe Land ShipThe HaunteningGayle Makin' Bob SledNice-CapadesThe Cook, the Steve, the Gayle, & Her LoverThe Gene & Courtney ShowSexy Dance HealingSacred CouchLice Things Are LiceHouse of 1000 BouncesStand by GeneWag the HogThe Hormone-iumsPro Tiki/Con TikiBye Bye Boo BooThe Horse Rider-erSecret Admiral-irerGlued, Where's My Bob?
7 Flu-ouiseSea Me NowTeen-a WitchThey Serve Horses, Don't They?Large Brother, Where Fart Thou?The Quirk-ducersThe Last Gingerbread House on the LeftEx MachTinaBob ActuallyThere's No Business Like Mr. Business BusinessA Few 'Gurt MenLike Gene for ChocolateThe Grand Mama-pest HotelAquaticismAin't Miss Debatin'Eggs for DaysZero Larp ThirtyThe Laser-inthThelma & Louise Except Thelma is LindaMom, Lies, and VideotapeParaders of the Lost FloatInto the Mild
8 BrunchsquatchThe Silence of the LouiseThe Wolf of Wharf StreetSit Me Baby One More TimeThanks-hoardingThe BleakeningV for Valentine-dettaY Tu Ga-Ga TambienThe Secret Ceramics Room of SecretsSleeping with the FrenemyThe Hurt SoccerCheer Up, Sleepy GeneThe Trouble with DoublesGo Tina on the MountainAre You There Bob? It's Me, BirthdayBoywatchAs I Walk Through the Alley of the Shadow of RampsMo Mommy Mo ProblemsMission Impos-slug-bleSomething Old, Something New, Something Bob Caters for You
9 Just One of the Boyz 4 Now for NowThe Taking of Funtime One Two ThreeTweentrepreneursNightmare on Ocean Avenue StreetLive and Let FlyBobby DriverI Bob Your PardonRoller? I Hardly Know Her!UFO No You Didn'tBetter Off SledLorenzo's Oil? No, Linda'sThe Helen HuntBed, Bob & BeyondEvery Which Way but GooseThe Fresh Princ-ipalRoamin' Bob-idayWhat About Blob?If You Love It So Much, Why Don't You Marionette?Long Time Listener, First Time BobThe Gene MileP.T.A. It Ain't SoYes Without My Zeke
10 The Ring (But Not Scary)Boys Just Wanna Have FungusMotor, She BoatPig Trouble in Little TinaLegends of the MallThe Hawkening: Look Who's Hawking Now!Land of the LoftNow We're Not Cooking with GasAll That GeneHave Yourself a Maily Linda ChristmasDrumforgivenA Fish Called TinaThree Girls and a Little WharfyWag the SongYurty Rotten ScoundrelsFlat-Top o' the Morning to YaJust the TripTappy Tappy Tappy Tap Tap TapThe Handyman CanPoops!… I Didn't Do It AgainLocal She-roPrank You for Being a Friend
11 Dream a Little Bob of BobWorms of In-Rear-mentCopa-Bob-banaHeartbreak Hotel-oweenFast Time Capsules at Wagstaff SchoolBob Belcher and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad KidsDiarrhea of a Poopy KidThe Terminalator II: Terminals of EndearmentMommy BoyYachty or NiceRomancing the BeefDie Card, or Card TryingAn Incon-Wheelie-ent TruthMr. Lonely FartsSheshank RedumptionY Tu Tina TambiénFingers-looseSome Kind of Fender BenderfulBridge Over Troubled RudySteal Magazine-oliasTell Me Dumb Thing GoodVampire Disco Death Dance
12 Manic Pixie Crap ShowCrystal MessThe PumpkineningDriving Big DummySeven-tween AgainBeach, PleaseLoft in BedslationStuck in the Kitchen with YouFOMO You Didn'tGene's Christmas BreakTouch of Eval(uations)Ferry on My Wayward Bob and LindaFrigate Me KnotVideo Killed the Gene-io StarAncient Misbehavin'Interview with a Pop-pop-pireThe Spider House RulesClear and Present GingerA-Sprout a BoySauce Side StorySome Like It Bot Part 1: Eighth Grade RunnerSome Like It Bot Part 2: Judge-bot Day
13 To Bob, or Not to BobThe Reeky Lake ShowWhat About Job?Comet-y of ErrorsSo You Stink You Can DanceApple Gore-chard! (But Not Gory)Ready Player GenePutts-givingShow Mama from the GraveThe Plight Before ChristmasCheaty Cheaty Bang BangOh Row You Didn'tStop! Or My Mom Will Sleuth!These Boots Are Made for StalkingThe Show (and Tell) Must Go OnWhat a (April) Fool BelievesCrows Encounters of the Bird KindGift Card or Buy TryingCrab-solutely FabulousRadio No You Didn'tMother Author Laser PointerAmelia
14 Fight at the Not Okay Chore-ralThe Amazing RudyThe PickleoretteRunning Down a GeneBully-ieve It or NotEscape from Which Island?The (Raccoon) King and IWharf, Me Worry?Fraud of the Dead: Zombie-docu-pocalypseThe Nightmare 2 Days Before ChristmasMission Impossi-BobJade in the ShadeButt Sweat and Fears
15 TBA
Unknown season (order subject to change) The Big StieblitzkiThe Tina Table: The Tables Have Tina-edThe Right Tough StuffTo Catch a BeefDon't Stop Be-cheesin'For Whom the Doll ToesThey Slug Horses, Don't They?Hope N' Mic NightBoogie DaysDog Christmas Day After AfternoonAdvice Things Are Ad-NiceMr. Fischoeder's OpusLike a Candle in the GymSnackfaceThe Place Beyond the PineconesThe Lost City of AtlanticInsomnibobWild Steal-ionsThe Shell GameThe Dead Bo-ats SocietyDad-urday Kite FeverMr. Safebody
See also: Episode Guide