- “No, Gene. Kurt is seducing your mommy.”— Teddy to Gene Belcher
"Seaplane!" is the third episode in Season 4, being the forty-eighth episode overall.
Plot[]
Linda takes pilot lessons from a perverse teacher known as "Upskirt Kurt" after Bob fails date night.
Synopsis[]
Bob and Linda return home after a date night, with Linda underwhelmed at yet again going to the Rudy’s restaurant they go every time and order the same type of meal, while Bob is happy with it. Linda feels however that they need to be more adventurous. The next day, she returns from the market with a flyer sea plane flying lessons and tells Bob she signed both of them up with the first lesson free. Bob however hates flying and wants to stick to going to Rudy’s, leaving Linda frustrated at their lack of adventure, and goes down to the docks herself for the lesson. She meets Kurt]], the flying instructor, who shows her his plane Shoshana, and the lesson starts off after going above 60 knots, and Linda feels exhilarated at flying the plane.
Mr. Fischoeder comes into the diner on a call (due to its great reception) and notices the seaplane flyer and expresses concern for Bob and Linda’s marriage when he hears that Linda is taking lying lessons with “upskirt Kurt.” Teddy explains that he’d also heard of Kurt, who is known for seducing bored housewives with his flying lesson business. The kids are nonplussed while Bob tries to argue that Linda won’t cheat on him, before Fischoeder explains Kurt’s methods as they happen on the plane: He utilizes a gadget on the plane to make it look like there are problems, with the radio not working and a beeping sound. Then he makes a fake emergency landing on the uninhabited Quippiquisset Island, also known as a make-out spot called “Quicky Kiss-It”, which as Fischoeder explains then usually makes Kurt look like a hero, the housewife is horny on adrenaline and then cheats, before he leaves. Bob is still skeptical that Linda would cheat on him as Kurt flips a switch on the plane to kill the engine. Kurt manages a controlled dive and flair upwards to keep the plane from crashing, then they land on Quippiquisset (where Linda vomits).
Bob still insists she won’t cheat on him and feels he should not have to explain that to his kids, but they point that he got in a big fight with Linda earlier and should have returned from the lesson by then. A worried Bob takes the kids along to the docks to find her, and after learning nothing from Kurt’s friend Gus (who is unnerved as he normally never meets the families of those Kurt seduces), a passing Mr. Fischoeder tells them to take the ferry to Kingshead Island after mocking Bob’s idea for a boat-for-hire. On the island, Kurt says the radio is dead and pulls out a picnic basket and bottle of Prosecco (which Linda drinks straight out of), lying that he was going on a picnic afterwards with his mother. The two go to a shady meadow with the picnic items and Kurt “finds” a lute hidden nearby as Linda remains oblivious.
On the ferry to Kingshead, as Tina daydreams about the idea of a whole island for kissing, Gene and Louise debate whether he could fight Kurt, and Bob is sure nothing is happening when he sees Fischoeder nearby in his own motor boat, with Bob unhappy due to his landlord not just telling him he has his own boat they could have used. On Kingshead, the family stops at the dockside post office, where the mailman offers to take them as far as the nearby Chipchaw Island as it falls on his mail route (explaining that Quippiquisset is uninhabited and mostly for people seeking privacy for intimate activities, to Bob’s displeasure). As they pass by, Bob shouts for Linda to not do anything, Louise yells encouragement as she doesn’t want to be the youngest while Gene yells how he wants a brother. On the island, Kurt begins making more forward advances on Linda such as unbuttoning his shirt, as she keeps protesting before finally headbutting him when he talks about what they could do. Kurt is hurt by the rejection, as she explains she’s married, which does not stop him from pointing out his other clients are and “things were going perfectly.” Linda realizes that he faked the whole thing about crashing and storms off to the plane, but they find that Shoshana has been washed off the beach when the tide came in.
Linda is mad at Kurt for stranding them because he thought she was so bored of her marriage that she would sleep with a slimy seaplane pilot like himself, while he is mad that she ate all the picnic cheese, and does not want to apologize for “giving women what they want”, which Linda notes is tricking them into sex (and he admits is gross when put that way). On Chipchaw, the Belchers need a way to get to Quippiquisset and take an unguarded rowing dinghy. On Quippiquisset, Linda makes a “Help” message on the beach out of Kurt’s leftover Prosecco bottles. Kurt starts going about how he has no love in his life, and begins sobbing at his loneliness, but leans in for a kiss when Linda sits down to try and comfort him, leading to another strike, this time at his throat, leading Linda to storm off again. Bob is rowing and due to being out of shape having difficulty but lands on the island and sees Linda and Kurt. He lands but is so exhausted that he nearly keels over and only ends up punching Kurt in the butt. They notice Fischoeder in his boat going by, with a found Shosana being towed by a rope to his boat. The Belchers sit in the plane as they take a ride back, with a tense silence as Bob and Linda argue about the events and Bob sarcastically saying it was better than Rudy’s.
Kurt and Fischoeder decide to speed up the boat for fun, but do not notice that the speed goes above 60 knots. As the belchers see them speeding, they realize that the plane has gained enough speed and lift to begin taking off, held only by the rope. Further matters make time of the essence, as they are coming upon a tall bridge between two islands, and are stuck at its level with the rope. As Kurt and Fischoeder drive with opera blasting loudly from the boat’s speakers, the Belchers cannot get the plane to dive, so Bob gets the idea to go up by cutting the rope. Unfortunately the plane’s toolbox only contains massage oil and a wine opener, which Bob realizes has a knife that could cut into the rope. He goes out onto the pontoon, holding on for life after a plane door comes off, and tries cutting the rope. Linda tries to apologize for calling him boring while he apologizes for not going on better date nights before Louise yells for them to talk later as the rope needs to be cut before they crash. Bob manages to finally get the rope cut, and Linda takes the plane over the bridge. Bob manages to hold on and get back in the plane, and notes Linda is flying with the engine off, but they also don’t know how to land it. Linda remembers though how Kurt managed while faking the crash, taking them into a nose dive and then pulling back to level, as Kurt watches in horror from the boat. Despite several bumps, they manage to land. In the water near Wonder Wharf and cheer their survival. Bob and Linda both feel adrenaline and aroused. Linda makes a joke about having the kids swim to shore while she and Bob have a “prosecco picnic”, and Tina obliges and jumps out, causing her and Bob to call her back as onlookers on the wharf stare.
Cast[]
Starring |
Also Starring
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Videos[]
External links[]
- "Seaplane!" on IMDb
- "Seaplane!" press release via The Futon Critic
- "Seaplane!" script via Springfield! Springfield!
- "Seaplane!" review at The A.V. Club