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Songs

"To Bob, or Not to Bob"[]

"Avenge Me"[]

The Belchers:
Avenge me, avenge me, it's so fun to revenge me
Linda: Yeah!
Bob: Hamlet, Macbeth,
I bet they both had creepy deaths
Belchers, bar Linda: But we didn't read the play so we just have to guess
Ghost: When that one guy poured poison in the other guy's ear
Belchers: It got everyone in Denmark shaking their rear
Avenge me, avenge me, it's so fun to revenge me
Ghost: Ooh, avenge me, Bob!
Linda: Yeah, Bob, avenge me, too.
Bob: Okay.
Gene: Dad, avenge me.
Bob: You got it.
Louise: No, avenge me, Dad.
Tina: I wouldn't mind being avenged.
Bob: I'll avenge you all.

"The Reeky Lake Show"[]

"The Lake"[]

Singers:
I'm itchin' to get down to the lake
Tell life that it can bite me cause I'm takin' a break
 I'm itchin' to get down to the lake
Get away from it all, this is not a mistake
Jumpin' in the water and I'm feelin' so free
Then it starts moving something inside of me
It makes me want to scream,
it makes me want to shout,
It makes me want to go ahead and let it all out
I'm itchin' to get down to the lake
Tell life that it can bite me cause I'm taking a break
I'm itchin' to get down to the lake
Get away from it all, this is not a mistake

"What About Job?"[]

"I Kiss My Pillow and Think of You"[]

Boyz 4 Now:
I kiss my pillow
And I think of you
When the lights go out
Here's what I do
What do you do?
I softly touch my pillow's cheek
We're both too overwhelmed to speak
And I'm careful not to use my teeth
When I kiss your cotton lips so sweet
Will you be this lumpy when we meet
I sure hope so
At night, I give my pillow just a little kiss
All your corners are so square and crisp
I never thought I'd end up with a bed like this

"Comet-y of Errors"[]

"Kettle Corn"[]

Linda:
Kettle corn
(gasps) So beautiful
Kettle corn
(gasps) So beautiful
Background: Kettle corn
Linda: What is this? Is this plain popcorn?
Man: I wouldn't call salt plain
Background: Kettle corn
Linda: No kettle?
Man: It's better than kettle.
Linda: Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
Better than... Whoa, whoa.
Background: Kettle corn
Linda: Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.
I'll take all of 'em.
Kettle corn
(gasps) So beautiful
Kettle corn
Oh, I got it in my teeth.
Ooh, ooh, it's still good, though.

"So You Stink You Can Dance"[]

"Backup"[]

Tina & Backup:
Backup, backup singing
Backup, backup dancing
Backup singing, backup dancing
Oh, yeah.

"Scoop It"[]

Singers:
Scoop it, scoop it, keep on scoopin' it
Scoop it, scoop it, keep on scoopin' it
Scoop it, scoop it, keep on scoopin' it
Scoop it, scoop it, keep on scoopin' it
Scoop it, scoop it, keep on scoopin' it
Scoop it, scoop it, keep on scoopin' it
Scoop it, scoop it, keep on scoopin' it
Ooh... Hyah!
Scoop it, scoop it, keep on scoopin' it
Scoop, scoop, scoop.

"Floppy Scoops"[]

Tina:
Floppy scoops, noodle arms
I'm in a trance, you front-up dancer
Floppy scoops, noodle arms
You are the answer, you front-up dancer
Don't let anybody out there tell you what you're doing is sloppy
 I like arms just like
I like my carbs
Backup: Noodles
Tina: I like my scoops extra floppy
Floppy scoops, noodle arms

"Apple Gore-chard (But Not Gory)"[]

"The Raven Song"[]

Singers:
Oh, the raven pecks the eye of the piggy in the sty
And high up in the trees blows a foul-smelling breeze
The leaves are falling down, they lie dying on the ground
The raven pecks the eye of the piggy in the sty
And high up in the trees blows a foul-smelling breeze
The leaves are falling down, they lie dying on the ground
The raven pecks the eye of the piggy in the sty
And high up in the trees blows a foul-smelling breeze
The leaves are falling down, they lie dying on the ground


"Ready Player Gene"[]

"VR Song"[]

Singer:
You can climb a mountain
Touch the heavens above
You can have a smoothie with Questlove
You can dive to the bottom of the ocean
Ride a dinosaur
Or back to smoothies with Questlove
You still have a little more
Backup: In your cup
Singer: Now you are one with everything


"Putts-giving"[]

"Planet Mystery World"[]

Singers:
Grab your putter,grab your ball
Do it all at Planet Mystery World
Grab your putter, grab your ball
Do it all at Planet Mystery World
Putt, putt, putt, putt, putty, putt-putt, putt-putt
Putt, putt, putt, putt, putty, putt-putt, putt-putt
Putt, putt, putt, putt, putty, putt-putt, putt-putt
Putt-putt, putt, putty, putt-putt

"Three, Two, One, Roll"[]

Louise, Gene & Tina:
Louise: Three, two, one, roll
With just one goal
Got to get it just right to make the yeti go
Head spin, arm flaps, legs do their tippy-tap
All at once is a vision
But only with precision
Three, two, one, roll,
just one goal
Got to get it just right to make the yeti go
Sometimes the legs fall off
Gene: Say what?
Tina: But then Tina comes and saves your butt
Yeti: Mini-golf, yum!
Louise:Three, two, one, roll
With just one goal
Got to get it just right to make the yeti...
Three, two, one, roll
Yeti: Mini-golf, yum!
Y-Yum, y-yum Mini-golf, yum!

"Show Mama from the Grave"[]

"Lily Belle"[]

Singer:
Who's got eyes that sparkle like a lily sprinkled with dew?
Lily Belle
And who's got lips as fresh as autumn rain when summer is through?
Lily Belle
And, oh, incidentally there's one more thing to tell
 If your eyes are open and you think you're seeing a dream
It's Lily Belle

"The Plight Before Christmas"[]

"The Christmas Tree Song"[]

Singer:
Come and sit around the tree with me
Sometimes gifts are simply memories
Why don't you come and sit around the tree with me

"Cheaty Cheaty Bang Bang"[]

"Jeffrey Ruth Seafood Delivery"[]

Singers:
If you need a lot of fish,
If you need a lot of fish,
If you need a lot of fish,
In a jiffy,
In a jiffy,
Call Jeffrey Ruth,
If you need a lot of fish,
Seafood Delivery,
Never stinky, always fresh,
That's why our fish are the best,
If you need a lot of fish,
Flakey and fresh,
Jeffrey Ruth Seafood Delivery,

"Oh Row You Didn't"[]

"Jeffrey Ruth Seafood Delivery"[]

Quincy Cox:
Can't quit, not quitting ya, baby,
Can't quit, not quitting ya, baby,
I thought of quitting ya maybe but I can't quit, not quitting ya, baby,
Spoken: Your solar panels, oh, yeah. They charge your batteries.
Big batteries. Those power your navigation system.
Me and you, boat, we're never get lost.
Singing: Can't quit, not quitting ya, baby,
Can't quit, not quitting ya, baby,
I thought of quitting ya maybe but I can't quit, not quitting ya, baby,
Spoken: Your desalination tank, pumping out clean water to drink.,
Makes me so thirsty, hydration.

"Stop! Or My Mom Will Sleuth!"[]

"Teddy's Business Card"[]

Teddy & Bob:
Teddy: There's a banana, that could be fun.
Bob: No banana. Teddy, that doesn't make any sense.
Teddy: Ooh, a lasso border, or a sunglasses sun.
Bob: Why would someone have a lasso? Do cowboys have business cards?
Teddy: Yes, cowboys have business cards. And Western-wear salespeople.
Wonder Woman. Ted Lasso. Lassie.
Bob: You ridiculous person, less is more. Don't be a kid in a candy store.
Teddy:Oh, there's candy.
Bob: Mm.
Teddy: They wouldn't call it a business card if they didn't want you to get busy.
Bob: Your choices are literally making me dizzy. Also, I don't think you understand "get busy."
Teddy, what you want is simple Elegant, clean, White space.
Teddy: Dreidel, soccer ball, puppy dog, Yin-yang.


When You Wanna Say Hello"[]

Tina & Gene:

Tina: When you wanna say hello,
But keep it on the down low,
Gene: Or blow a little kiss,
She won't wanna miss,
Tina: Well, it's the Flappity Dappity,
Background singers: The Flappity Dappity,
Gene: Ooh, the Little Bitty Stinker
Background: The Little Bitty Stinker,
Tina: The Rubber Elbow Double Down,
Background: The Rubber Elbow Double Down,
Gene: The ESP,
Background: Oh, the ESP,
Tina: The Fake Left, Go Right,
Background: The Fake Left, Go Right
Gene: The Wiggle Waggle,
Background:The Wiggle Waggle,
Gene: Everybody now!
Gene & Tina: Just the Pinkies and the Smoochicane.

"These Boots Are Made for Stalking"[]

"Here's My Middle Finger"[]

Quincy Cox:
Here's a riddle,
It's my middle finger pointed in your direction,
I hope you get an infection and upon further reflection,
I wanna punch you in the face

I Hate Waiting for Crap to Happen"[]

Quincy Cox:
I hate waiting for crap to happen,
I hate waiting for crap to happen,
Don't make me wait like you're the bus,
If something doesn't happen soon, I'm gonna cuss,
Oh, my God, seriously, if waiting's like dying then you're killing me,
I hate waiting for crap to happen,
I hate waiting for crap to happen,
Crap!

"Wafty, Wafty"[]

Quincy Cox:
Wafty, wafty, wafty,
 Pshew, pshew, pshew,
Wafty, wafty, wafty,
 Pshew, pshew, pshew,
Wafty, wafty, wafty,
 Pshew, pshew, pshew,
Wafty, wafty, wafty,
 Pshew, pshew, pshew,
Wafty, wafty,
Wafty, wafty,
Wafty, wafty,
Wafty, wafty,
Wafty, wafty, wafty,
Pshew, pshew, pshew,
Wafty, wafty, wafty,
Pshew, pshew, pshew,
Wafty, wafty, wafty,
Pshew, pshew, pshew,

"Oh Row You Didn't"[]

"Jeffrey Ruth Seafood Delivery"[]

Teddy & Kathlen:
Kathlen: One hand tackle and a two hand catch,
Now we've got shemozzle and we're leading the match, come on,
Sitting on the town end, no place I'd rather be,
If it's our fate to lose then let's blame the referee,
You think your team can take us? Just look at the score,
'Cause we've been winning since 1884,
Teddy & Kathlen: Yeah, we've been winning since 1884.
Kathlen: So, raise a glass to the tip-top we'll never be knocked off,
And if you root for someone else, well, then you can just...

"What a (April) Fool Believes"[]

"You are my April Fool"[]

Calvin:
You are the one I love to prank,
You've got the chain I yearn to yank,
I don't really get it, but I can't forget it,
You are my April Fool,
Pencil me in for April one,
I'll make your day come all undone,
It brings me such joy when you're one baffled boy,
You are my April fool,
You are my April fool.

"Crows Encounters of the Bird Kind"[]

"Mr. Crow and Me"[]

Tina:
Sha, la, la, la, la, la, la,
Mm, uh-huh,
 Mr. Crow and me,
Watching from the bathroom,
When I see you there bending that stick,
I want to say, "Hey, look at you, bend that stick"
Don't want to see a pigeon,
Mr. Crow, poke that log until you find something,
Looks like you found a beetle?
Oh, look, now you flew up in a tree,
Mr. Crow and me...

"Crab-solutely Fabulous"[]

"Freakishly devoted"[]

Singers:
Freakishly devoted,
Freakishly devoted,
Freakishly devoted,
Freakishly devoted,

"Gotta Work Hard"[]

Singers: You gotta be your best so you gotta work hard, You gotta work hard to be your best A fire in your heart, noodles in your hand Your costumes smell really bad, that's okay, You gotta be your best so you gotta work hard, You gotta work hard to be your best, Yeah, yeah.

"Crustacean Nation"[]

Singers: Crustacean Nation, Wrestling Federation, It's a bunch of big crustaceans, Fighting other big crustaceans, Just 'cause they're really big doesn't mean they can't fight, Kicking krill and taking names, It's a shell of a sight, Crustacean Nation, Wrestling Federation, Crustacean Nation, Wrestling Federation, Kicking krill and taking names, It's a shell of a sight, Just 'cause they're really big doesn't mean they can't fight, Crustacean Nation, Wrestling Federation, Crustacean Nation, Wrestling Federation,

"UFO No You Didn't"[]

"My Radio"[]

Bob & Singers:
I'd sit alone and watch your light,
My only friend through teenage nights,
And everything I had to know,
I heard it on my radio, radio,
All we hear is radio ga ga,
Radio goo goo,
Radio ga ga,
All we hear is radio ga ga,
Radio blah blah,
So don't become some background noise,
A backdrop for the girls and boys,
Who just don't know or just don't care,
And just complain when you're not there,
All we hear is radio ga ga,
Radio goo goo,
Radio ga ga,
All we hear is radio ga ga,
Radio blah blah,
Radio, what's new?

"Mother Author Laser Pointer"[]

"Snail and Newt"[]

Singers:
Every moment we're together,
Is another moment I will treasure,
Snail and Newt in any weather,
But too bad it's not forever,
Because someday you'll have to go,
And live your life, though it kills me so,
I don't know how I will go on,
Why get out of bed if you are gone?
Linda: (Spoken) What about Snail and Newt try stand-up?
Oh, oh! Snail and Newt get fun haircuts. Two tight perms.
Snail and Newt go on tour with Guns N' Roses.
Snail and Newt start a fight club.
Snail and Newt go to Buffalo.
Oh, Snail and Newt eat too much mac and cheese and then they can't poop.
Oh, Snail and Newt go to couples' counseling and they work it all out.
Singers: But every moment we're together
Is another moment I will treasure,

"Amelia"[]

"Some of That Magic"[]

Singers:
I cannot wait to watch you find your wings,
'Cause I know, you're on your way,
Up, Up, Up, Up,
To bigger things,
And if the world makes you feel small,
Just let them watch you fly above it all,
Some of that magic I see it in your eyes,
Some of that magic,
You're meant for the sky,
Some of that magic makes me want to find some of that magic

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