| “ | I can fix it! | ” |
- Teddy
|
Theodore "Teddy" is a carpenter, handyman, and Bob's best friend. He is a frequent diner at the restaurant.
Profile
Appearance
Teddy is a burly man in his 40s (The Wolf of Wharf Street). He has tan skin and has a shaven head with a 5 o'clock shadow. He wears a blue button-down with rolled up sleeves, a white T-shirt underneath and brown cargo pants. In one episode, he is seen wearing a customised work jumpsuit. He stands at 6', but due to his bad posture, he makes himself about 5'10".
Teddy wears a gray beanie at all times. It is revealed in Sea Me Now that this is because he feels self-conscious about the back of his head due to his ex-wife Denise said the back of his head looks like a butt.
When he was 18-27 years old, Teddy was muscular and had long blond hair (The Deepening) and (Sliding Bobs). He was attractive enough to be on a shark movie as one 'Handsome Lifeguard Number 3'. He let himself go after one of the cute beach girl actresses turned him down after an operator on set bumped Teddy, making him spill his drink all over said actress; his condition has not improved since his divorce.
Teddy's shoe sizes are a size 13 on the left foot and an 11 on the right. ("The Secret Ceramics Room of Secrets")
Personality
While kind-hearted as well as a loyal customer and family friend, Teddy is known for telling long winded stories and invading Bob's personal space.. Teddy is something of a "sad-sack", he is a desperate, divorced and lonely individual with few social skills longing for companionship and a family of is own. Because of this he desperately wants to be part of the Belcher family and is often inserting himself into their personal lives. He frequents Bob's Burgers in order to have someone to talk to because he is lonely.[1]
Teddy has many fears and anxieties, the greatest of which he claims to be costumed characters and their "soulless eyes," after an incident with his ex-wife. He also has a hot temper, and has been seen to fly off the handle (The Cook, the Steve, the Gayle, & Her Lover)(Uncle Teddy) in defense of those he loves, but always seems to express immediate regret. He sees a Therapist, Dr. Marjorie, for this and other concerns. According to Teddy "Dr. Marjorie says if I don't value my time, nobody else will" (Glued: Where's my Bob?)
Teddy will eat anything, and notoriously eats a sponge in "The Unnatural". Teddy eats a burger every day (Friends with Burger-fits) and is resultantly in poor health. Though occasional refrences are made throughout the series to Teddy's weight and health (Uncle Teddy)(The Deepening), it is the focus of the Season 5 episode "Friends with Burger-fits."
Hoarding
When the Belchers visit Teddy's house on Thanksgiving, they discover that though he doesn't have silverware, he compulsively hoards things that he finds throughout his daily life as a contractor and envisions fixing in his closet and dining room (Thanks-Hoarding). With the help of the Belchers, Teddy lets go of some things and learns about the root cause of his hoarding.
Story
In The Belchies, Teddy tells Louise, Gene and Tina a story about the treasure under the abandoned Taffy Factory.
Teddy being scared of the shark.
Although there was gold, Teddy thought the story was really just a joke.
In The Deepening, he has a major role in the episode when he has to confront Mr. Fischoeder's mechanical shark; the very same shark Teddy had worked with while shooting a film many years earlier.
In Topsy, it is revealed that Teddy owns a large Van de Graaff generator, which he knows how to operate, but not very safely.
Teddy, for one episode, was enemies with Louise because he occupies her room during his stay at the bed and breakfast. When Louise finds out his phobia of costumed characters, she orders several over the telephone, which drives him out.
Teddy uses a McLecklin hammer, which he claims is "The Meryl Streep of hammers". He used it to destroy Bob's Fukinawa knife in The Millie-Churian Candidate and made a video of it hammering nails online.
Teddy's last name is unknown. It has been implied his last name begins with "J", in the conversation where he tells the kids they could call him T.J. (Uncle Teddy). In "Thelma & Louise Except Thelma is Linda", Teddy lies about having a wife and gives her name as Karen McGillicuddy, an implication that this may be his last name. On Funko's website, Teddy's official Pop! figurine is referred to as Teddy Francisco.
Relationships
Family
Teddy has a family history in town. One of his relatives owned a speak-easy named Swanky's, originator of the mixed drink "The Swanky Panky", and his uncle Paddy was a maid at Caffrey Taffy Company.
Teddy has a sister, Dana, who's married to a man named Dan.
Teddy's parents fought throughout his childhood, often leaving him to feel responsible for "fixing" things or holding the family together (Thanks-Hoarding).
Teddy's mother, who is partially blind (Aquaticism), lives some distance away from him and flies in for visits. The two often travel together, taking a single's cruise in "Gayle Makin' Bob Sled" and a silent weekend retreat. Teddy remarks to Bob over the phone that he doesn't think his mother "respects herself" when it comes to men, and has an age-inappropriate boyfriend who Teddy and Dana exclusively call "Boy-Toy" as of Season 8.
Teddy's father is implied to be deceased as Teddy dedicated his cover of Natalie Merchant's wonder to him in "The Millie-churian Candidate." According to Teddy in "Bob Fires the Kids", before dying he was an alcoholic. Teddy had a bad relationship with his father "Father of the Bob", and clearly connects personally to the harsh lyrics of musical health inspector Tommy Jaronda's "Daddy", a song with lines like "Daddy, you are my enemy/ punches are not hugs to me.". Teddy's admitted favourite childhood memory is when his father high-fived him (Lorenzo's Oil? No, Linda's).
Francis
Francis is Teddy's guinea pig, who is tragically killed in "Full Bars." In the episode, Teddy is depicted as a loving and devoted, though misguided pet owner who spray paints the animal and lets her run freely around a crowded room. Teddy tells the Belchers that she goes by Fran or Fancie, but never Frankie, or as Linda suggests "Francie-Pants." Upon her death he becomes hysterical and holds an aggressively mandatory funeral at his halloween party.
Romance
Teddy is constantly in search for (usually unsuccessfully) for love. In "My Fuzzy Valentine " he attends speed dating at the restaurant as set up by Linda. He eventually gets Gina's phone number, another participant in the speed dating. In "I Get Psy-chic Out of You," Linda gives Teddy a vision that he is to meet a woman in a yellow dress and he'll find a nickel. Later in the episode he phones her asking if the dress has to be yellow as he has found a woman wearing a vest with a yellow floral pattern. During the credits he is seen dancing with the woman.
In "The Silence of the Louise," he starts a professional relationship with Janine, the owner and operator of Yours Truly Stationery, making inspirational posters, but checks more than once to see if she might want it to become romantic. Teddy even claims to have gotten to 3rd base with his 2nd cousin.
Denise
Teddy was once married to Denise, but they divorced after she left him for someone who was into boats. Following their divorce, Teddy spent years fixing up a boat which he christens Sea Me Now to try and impress her, crashes infront of her, and finally explodes with a flare gun. In "Bed and Breakfast," Teddy reveals that they once had a three way, or at least he watched his her have sex with Ray, a man who dresses as a seal down at the amusement park. During their marriage, Denise even made Teddy go to the bathroom in the yard.
Helen
In "Housetrap" Teddy reveals a crush on a rich widow / employer named Helen. He enjoys spending time sitting on the porch drinking tea with her "for what feels like minutes" and thinks she might reciprocate his feelings.
When Helen reappears in "The Helen Hunt", she is much less interested in Teddy than her first appearance, and appears to be using him. Though Linda spends the entire episode trying to get the two together, Helen leaves quickly without saying goodbye after casually putting Teddy in danger.
Caroline
in "Bobby Driver" Teddy talks to Linda about going on a second date with Caroline, who likes sushi. Teddy claimed to also like sushi, but doesn't really.
The Belchers
Teddy's best friend is Bob , who Teddy is deeply devoted to, at times he is even shown to idolize Bob and his family. This likely because Teddy himself desperately wishes for a family of his own. He is often shown to waver between wanting to be friends with Bob, and wanting to be Bob, he frequently makes comments of "watching over Linda & the kids" if something happens to Bob. When the Belcher kids leave their bikes in Teddy's garage, he pretends he is father to 3 children of his own (Bob Fires the Kids).
Teddy is in his own words the "fun uncle" to the Belcher kids (Uncle Teddy), but according to Louise, he's the "Dangerous uncle we never had" (The Secret Ceramics Room of Secrets), as he supplies the kids with the tools they need to pull off crazy schemes in episodes like "The Quirkducers" and "Ain't Miss Debatin'."
Teddy is also is shown to have a crush on Linda in several episodes spanning all current seasons, including Aquaticism, Dawn of the Peck, and Beefsquatch.
Appearances
As a main character, Teddy has appeared in all but a handful of episodes. The episodes in which Teddy has NOT appeared in are listed below:
Season 1
Season 2
Teddy appears in every episode in season 2.
Season 3
- Mutiny on the Windbreaker
- An Indecent Thanksgiving Proposal
- Tina-Rannosaurus Wrecks
- Two for Tina
- It Snakes a Village
- The Kids Run the Restaurant
- Boyz 4 Now
Season 4
Season 5
Season 6
Season 7
- There's No Business Like Mr. Business Business
- The Laser-inth
- Mom, Lies, and Videotape
- Into the Mild
Season 8
Season 9
- I Bob Your Pardon
- Bed, Bob & Beyond
- If You Love It So Much, Why Don't You Marionette?
- Yes Without My Zeke
Season 10
- Motor, She Boat
- Legends of the Mall
- Have Yourself a Maily Linda Christmas
- Yurty Rotten Scoundrels
- Poops!… I Didn't Do It Again
Quotes
- "Don't feed a guy a sponge, Bobby!"
- "Do not come in here! Nobody come in here! Someone threw up in the bounce house. Kids, kids, kids you can't go into the bounce house, someone threw up in there. I don't know....I don't know what happened. Who wants to dance?"
- 'My temporary house, my temporary rules! You don't like it? There's the door that you can't go out of!'
- 'No, Gene. Kurt is seducing your Mommy.'
- 'No, that was my second cousin, and it was third base.'
- 'I made this guy say yes with my body!'
- Bobby, want to come over and watch the game tonight? I'm making a three-bean salad, but it's bring your own bean. Can I put you down for garbanzo?
- 'It's a butt! Get it? A butt! With three turds!
- "Gretchen's sister is skinny, Lin, but it's because she's on meth amphetamines."
- "We'll be doing many things this weekend like dinner, rough housing but not too rough, brushing teeth, and going to bed."
- "There's a clog in there, and it could be underwear, what will it find? Goop? Probably goop."
- "I can fix it!"
- "When I come back in here tomorrow there better be a frigging burger on that board!"
- "Thank you guys for helping me with my stuff. and putting up with my stuff. and making stuffing."
- "What is succotash anyway, Bobby? I know, but Mort was wondering."
- "Is my ass on fire? Be honest."
Gallery
- Main article: Teddy/Gallery
Trivia
- Makes his own home brewed beer (Speakeasy Rider).
- Is left handed in "Sacred Cow" and "Christmas in the Car", but is right handed in "Uncle Teddy".
- Is allergic to peanuts (Adventures In Chinchilla-Sitting).
- Drives a green pickup truck with a cream stripe running long it. It appears to be a 1971 Ford F-Series.
- Only has one testicle (Lindapendent Woman)
- Favorite color is yellow. (I Get Psy-chic Out of You).
- Once played Blake in a production of Glengarry Glen Ross.
- Gets intense B.O. when he's nervous, which he calls "panic sweats" (Thanks-hoarding)
- Appears to be religious as he has intentions to watch church on TV in "Christmas in the Car " and has intentions to attend midnight mass in "Father of the Bob ".
- Despite not being Jewish, Teddy plays on a Jewish ice hockey team called The Mighty Schmucks, meaning Teddy plays hockey.
- In "Turkey in a Can", he mentions that his father potty trained him when he was seven and finally learned when he was fourteen.
- Favorite member of Boyz4Now is Allen.
- Favorite movie is The Dark Crystal
- Has had the same cell phone for over ten years, which currently only charges up to 23% (The Gene Mile).
- Though it's slightly hard to hear it in his voice, Teddy has a Brooklyn accent.
- According to Louise's story in Sliding Bobs, Teddy was still attractive when Bob and Linda met, this means Teddy starred in The Deepening 3D and started gaining weight after Bob and Linda met.
- Using information surrounding any aliases of Teddy throughout the show make it so Teddy's full name can be considered as Theodore J. McGillicuddy.
- Teddy is shown to be a hockey fan as he plays it, frequently talks about it and watches it on both his TV and on his radio.
- Linda told Helen in The Helen Hunt that Teddy was in the navy, but it's likely that she just lied to her to increase the chances of her becoming more interested in Teddy.
- Teddy has a herniated disc (The Helen Hunt).
- On the official Teddy funko seen here. His last name is shown to be Francisco, but this is never seen or said in the actual TV show before.