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"The Gayle Tales" is thirteenth episode in Season 5, being the eightieth episode overall.


Gayle arrives at Bob's Burgers in tears because her date for the evening Stacy canceled and she had theater tickets to see "Yarnival." Desperate to get out of the house after being grounded for a reason Linda is reluctant to say, the kids compete to be Aunt Gayle's "date" for the evening via an essay contest.

"The Ballad of Gayle and Jo-Gene"[]

Gene writes a story about him and Linda being a country western duo called Lindette and Jo-Gene. They are playing a show where Lou Belchera (Louise), a Hollywood singing agent is in attendance. After the show, Lou offers to manage Lindette as a solo artist.

Jo-Gene encounters Gayle singing while working as a waitress in a Soda Bar and teams up with her to form a new duo as Gayle and Jo-Gene. They win the competition and Belchera takes them on and takes them to Hollywood to see the Hollywood sign and meet Scott Bakula. Lindette ends up marrying the drunk in the Soda Bar (Bob).

"Lady Chatter-teeth's Lover"[]

Tina writes a romantic story about the Chatter-teeth sisters Gayle, Tina, Eugenia (Gene) and Louisa (Louise). Tina longs to marry Lord Jimmy, Jr. but according to the law of the land, she can't do so until Gayle marries first. Tina attempts to find Gayle a match but can only think of Theodore the blacksmith (Teddy).

Then Sir Bob Belcher, Lord and heir of the Belcher Burger fortune shows up and the sisters offer Gayle up to him. Linda cannot interrupts the story wanting Gayle to be married off to Bob.

The night of the ball arrives and everyone from the town is there, Bob and Gayle dance all evening but Linda appears as Sir Bob’s loud, rude, American wife-to-be that he is only marrying for money. This causes Gayle to fall deathly ill with "pooping cough." They call the vicar around to give her the last rites who happens to be Scott Bakula. This makes Gayle all better and they Quantum Leap into the future to the day of the double wedding of Gayle and Scott Bakula and Tina and Lord Jimmy, Jr. Bob and Linda also have a baby but it was born with a tail because they were cousins. This leads to Linda to iterate that he and Linda are not cousins that they know of.

"Gayle of Thrones"[]

Louise writes a story based on the TV series "Game of Thrones" set in "Catsteros" (a parody of Westeros). Gayle is Queen of Catsteros who is receiving an official visit from Litter-boxia on behalf of her sister Lindaryen (Linda). Tina presents her with Gene from the House of the Unfarting a Warlock with disappearing powers which he uses to steal her cat dragons (Jean Pawed Van Damme, Pinkeye and Mr. Business).

Gayle sets out on a quest with the bravest knight, Knight Louise to find the cat dragons. Along the way they get held prisoner three times. Eventually, they arrive at Litter-Boxia where there are white talkers everywhere (Multiple Teddy’s telling boring stories that will send anyone into a sleep-like state). They arrive at the castle and challenge Lindaryen to a duel to the death. Lindaryen unleashes the Mort-ain (Mort) to fight in the duel but Louise succeeds by slapping him with her Burgarean Sword and making him fall into the pit of ravenous porcelain babies.

Bobdor (Bob) who is Lindaryen's fool is insulted when Lindaryen mentions that she should get a new fool as he isn’t skinny or hot, this causes him to throw Lindaryen into the pit. The cats are rescued and they fly home on them. Scott Bakula suddenly appears and Gayle falls for him. Bobdor realizes he’s a third wheel in all this and throws himself off the cat dragon.


Gayle is impressed with all three of the kids’ stories. They make her feel that she is talented and wonderful and that she doesn’t need Stacy. Then Stacy walks in offering to go on the date as his emergency canceled, they go out on the date. The kids are frustrated that they are still grounded.

We then reveal that the kids were grounded for pulling a prank on Linda at the supermarket where Tina and Louise got her to open the ice cream freezer while Gene grabbed her legs. This caused her to fall over into a pile of maxi-pads and fart. Linda doesn't see the funny side of things as she had to buy all the maxi-pads and farted again when she had her bags handed back.

Linda eventually agrees that it was funny and that they are grounded for the evening while Linda watches over them in the apartment. They leave the restaurant to do so and Bob is upset that they all left before closing time, saying "I should've gone with Gayle".



Also Starring

  • Megan Mullally as Gayle
  • Andy Kindler as Mort
  • David Herman as Scott Bakula
  • Rich Fulcher as Stacy


External links[]

Episode Navigation vte
Season Episodes
The Demo
1 Human FleshCrawl SpaceSacred CowSexy Dance FightingHamburger Dinner TheaterSheesh! Cab, Bob?Bed & BreakfastArt CrawlSpaghetti Western and MeatballsBurger WarWeekend at Mort'sLobsterfestTorpedo
2 The BelchiesBob Day AfternoonSynchronized SwimmingBurgerbossFood Truckin'Dr. YapMoody FoodieBad TinaBeefsquatch
3 Ear-sy RiderFull BarsBob Fires the KidsMutiny on the WindbreakerAn Indecent Thanksgiving ProposalThe DeepeningTinarannosaurus WrecksThe Unbearable Like-Likeness of GeneGod Rest Ye Merry Gentle-MannequinsMother Daughter Laser RazorNude BeachBroadcast Wagstaff School NewsMy Fuzzy ValentineLindapendent WomanO.T. The Outside ToiletTopsyTwo for TinaIt Snakes a VillageFamily FracasThe Kids Run the RestaurantBoyz 4 NowCarpe MuseumThe Unnatural
4 A River Runs Through BobFort NightSeaplane!My Big Fat Greek BobTurkey in a CanPurple Rain-UnionBob and DeliverChristmas in the CarSlumber PartyPresto Tina-oEasy Com-mercial, Easy Go-mercialThe Frond FilesMazel TinaUncle TeddyThe Kids Rob a TrainI Get Psy-chic Out of YouThe EquestranautsAmbergrisThe Kids Run AwayGene It OnWharf HorseWorld Wharf II: The Wharfening
5 Work Hard or Die Trying, GirlTina and the Real GhostFriends with Burger-fitsDawn of the PeckBest BurgerFather of the BobTina Tailor Soldier SpyMidday RunSpeakeasy RiderLate Afternoon in the Garden of Bob and LouiseCan't Buy Me MathThe Millie-churian CandidateThe Gayle TalesLi'l Hard DadAdventures in Chinchilla-sittingThe Runway ClubThe Itty Bitty Ditty CommitteeEat, Spray, LindaHousetrapHawk & ChickThe Oeder Games
6 Sliding BobsThe Land ShipThe HaunteningGayle Makin' Bob SledNice-CapadesThe Cook, the Steve, the Gayle, & Her LoverThe Gene & Courtney ShowSexy Dance HealingSacred CouchLice Things Are LiceHouse of 1000 BouncesStand by GeneWag the HogThe Hormone-iumsPro Tiki/Con TikiBye Bye Boo BooThe Horse Rider-erSecret Admiral-irerGlued, Where's My Bob?
7 Flu-ouiseSea Me NowTeen-a WitchThey Serve Horses, Don't They?Large Brother, Where Fart Thou?The Quirk-ducersThe Last Gingerbread House on the LeftEx MachTinaBob ActuallyThere's No Business Like Mr. Business BusinessA Few 'Gurt MenLike Gene for ChocolateThe Grand Mama-pest HotelAquaticismAin't Miss Debatin'Eggs for DaysZero Larp ThirtyThe Laser-inthThelma & Louise Except Thelma is LindaMom, Lies, and VideotapeParaders of the Lost FloatInto the Mild
8 BrunchsquatchThe Silence of the LouiseThe Wolf of Wharf StreetSit Me Baby One More TimeThanks-hoardingThe BleakeningV for Valentine-dettaY Tu Ga-Ga TambienThe Secret Ceramics Room of SecretsSleeping with the FrenemyThe Hurt SoccerCheer Up, Sleepy GeneThe Trouble with DoublesGo Tina on the MountainAre You There Bob? It's Me, BirthdayBoywatchAs I Walk Through the Alley of the Shadow of RampsMo Mommy Mo ProblemsMission Impos-slug-bleSomething Old, Something New, Something Bob Caters for You
9 Just One of the Boyz 4 Now for NowThe Taking of Funtime One Two ThreeTweentrepreneursNightmare on Ocean Avenue StreetLive and Let FlyBobby DriverI Bob Your PardonRoller? I Hardly Know Her!UFO No You Didn'tBetter Off SledLorenzo's Oil? No, Linda'sThe Helen HuntBed, Bob & BeyondEvery Which Way but GooseThe Fresh Princ-ipalRoamin' Bob-idayWhat About Blob?If You Love It So Much, Why Don't You Marionette?Long Time Listener, First Time BobThe Gene MileP.T.A. It Ain't SoYes Without My Zeke
10 The Ring (But Not Scary)Boys Just Wanna Have FungusMotor, She BoatPig Trouble in Little TinaLegends of the MallThe Hawkening: Look Who's Hawking Now!Land of the LoftNow We're Not Cooking with GasAll That GeneHave Yourself a Maily Linda ChristmasDrumforgivenA Fish Called TinaThree Girls and a Little WharfyWag the SongYurty Rotten ScoundrelsFlat-Top o' the Morning to YaJust the TripTappy Tappy Tappy Tap Tap TapThe Handyman CanPoops!… I Didn't Do It AgainLocal She-roPrank You for Being a Friend
11 Dream a Little Bob of BobWorms of In-Rear-mentCopa-Bob-banaHeartbreak Hotel-oweenFast Time Capsules at Wagstaff SchoolBob Belcher and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad KidsDiarrhea of a Poopy KidThe Terminalator II: Terminals of EndearmentMommy BoyYachty or NiceRomancing the BeefDie Card, or Card TryingAn Incon-Wheelie-ent TruthMr. Lonely FartsSheshank RedumptionY Tu Tina TambiénFingers-looseSome Kind of Fender BenderfulBridge Over Troubled RudySteal Magazine-oliasTell Me Dumb Thing GoodVampire Disco Death Dance
12 Manic Pixie Crap ShowCrystal MessThe PumpkineningDriving Big DummySeven-tween AgainBeach, PleaseLoft in BedslationStuck in the Kitchen with YouFOMO You Didn'tGene's Christmas BreakTouch of Eval(uations)Ferry on My Wayward Bob and LindaFrigate Me KnotVideo Killed the Gene-io StarAncient Misbehavin'Interview with a Pop-pop-pireThe Spider House RulesClear and Present GingerA-Sprout a BoySauce Side StorySome Like It Bot Part 1: Eighth Grade RunnerSome Like It Bot Part 2: Judge-bot Day
13 To Bob, or Not to BobThe Reeky Lake ShowWhat About Job?Comet-y of ErrorsSo You Stink You Can DanceApple Gore-chard! (But Not Gory)Ready Player GenePutts-givingShow Mama from the GraveThe Plight Before ChristmasCheaty Cheaty Bang BangOh Row You Didn'tStop! Or My Mom Will Sleuth!These Boots Are Made for StalkingThe Show (and Tell) Must Go OnWhat a (April) Fool BelievesCrows Encounters of the Bird KindGift Card or Buy TryingCrab-solutely FabulousRadio No You Didn'tMother Author Laser PointerAmelia
14 Fight at the Not Okay Chore-ralThe Amazing RudyThe PickleoretteRunning Down a GeneBully-ieve It or NotEscape from Which Island?The (Raccoon) King and IWharf, Me Worry?Fraud of the Dead: Zombie-docu-pocalypseThe Nightmare 2 Days Before ChristmasMission Impossi-BobJade in the ShadeButt Sweat and Fears
15 TBA
Unknown season (order subject to change) The Big StieblitzkiThe Tina Table: The Tables Have Tina-edThe Right Tough StuffTo Catch a BeefDon't Stop Be-cheesin'For Whom the Doll ToesThey Slug Horses, Don't They?Hope N' Mic NightBoogie DaysDog Christmas Day After AfternoonAdvice Things Are Ad-NiceMr. Fischoeder's OpusLike a Candle in the GymSnackfaceThe Place Beyond the PineconesThe Lost City of AtlanticInsomnibobWild Steal-ionsThe Shell GameThe Dead Bo-ats SocietyDad-urday Kite FeverMr. Safebody
See also: Episode Guide