- “You get one scoop. Standard size. Don't come back. I'll recognize you. I'll recognize all of you. Got it?”— Vanessa
"The Gene Mile" is the twentieth episode in Season 9, being the one-hundred-and-seventieth episode overall.
Plot[]
When the kids have to run a mandatory mile for school on free-ice-cream-day, they hatch an elaborate plot to sneak away. Meanwhile, Bob and Linda frantically try to secure discount tickets to a show at the Wharf Arts Center.
Synopsis[]
At the Wagstaff auditorium, the students are assembled. Mr. Frond and Coach Blevins tell them that on the upcoming Friday, every single student will be participating in the annual fourth-through-eight-grade mandatory mile run. As Louise is not sure what is happening while the others are scared, Blevins tells them that every student must run unless they have a REAL doctor’s note, not simply a fake one that’s easy to fall for. Teachers will be placed around the route at specific points to direct students along it, while Frond will Scotter about.
In the hall, Louise and Rudy are fuming at having to run a mile, given their short statures and in Rudy’s case health issues. Tina tells Jimmy Jr. her idea to run the mile together, but he mocks it, as he wants to break nine minutes with his run and insults her slow running speed, causing her to snap at him and say she will beat him in the running. Gene and Alex try to figure out how to get out of the run, with Alex skeptical as it seems Coach Blevins has caught on about their fake doctor’s notes to get out of P.E., and Gene horrified at the thought of actually running a whole mile.
At the restaurant, Bob sees a TV commercial for the show “Cake 2: Cake My Breath Away” that weekend at the Wharf Arts Center and is entranced. But he admits to Teddy that they cannot go as tickets are so expensive, until Linda points out that the website says that they will release special discounted tickets at 11 a.m. that Friday, so if they call right then, they may get tickets.
At the school, Tina is angry at Jimmy Junior and stretching at Gene, Alex, Rudy and Louise by the lockers, when Courtney comes up and tells them at least Friday is “free scoop day” at Moos’ Clues, an ice cream shop several blocks away. But Gene tells them of last year, when the Belcher kids got out of school on Free Scoop Day but by the time they arrived, the line was down the block, and when they got there, the only flavor not sold out was Rum Raisin Sorbet. Gene says the only way to get to Free Scoop Day would be to do it during school, which gives Louise an idea: They go during the mile run, when business will be slow. She draws out the plan with a map on notebook paper: The morning of the race, they hide bikes in bushes in a spot where no teachers are stationed. While the other kids run counterclockwise around several blocks including the other side of the school, the group of them will stop, get their bikes, go off-route two blocks to Moo’s Clues, get the ice cream scoops, and ride back to the end of the route to stash their bikes and blend in with the other kids running.
Courtney and Alex are skeptical of doing it all so fast, as one eighth-grader the previous year ran it in seven minutes, but Louise explains that they’ll blend at the “back of the pack”; as Large Tommy is the slowest runner at 20 minutes (amongst other reasons why he had to repeat the fourth grade), they’ll have to get to the end of the mile before he does. Courtney suggests using her phone app that allows her to track a GPS-enabled collar for her cat, Susan, and if they put the collar on him, they can see where he is. Louise is impressed while Alex thinks the plan is risky, but Louise convinces them to go along, and plan to put their bikes in hiding early. Tina is not in, as she is focused on beating Jimmy Jr. to the finish line.
On Thursday night, Bob plugs in his phone to charge and tells it he loves it as it will help him get the tickets as Linda tells him to go to sleep. The next morning, Gene and Louise are riding on their bikes, with Gene complimenting Louise on riding okay on her big-girl bike. They meet up with Rudy, Courtney and Alex by the hiding bushes, and they stash their bikes before Gene talks a scared Alex into being not scared, and then a big hug between all of them except Louise. At the school, the students are assembled in their PE wear outside the front entrance, with Tina trash-talking Jimmy Jr. Courtney brings the cat collar, but becomes concerned at the thought of Susan running away. The five see Large Tommy has a hydration pack and Louise moves in, managing to sneak it into his pack (which is full of cold milk rather than water). Courtney confirms they have the collar’s signal.
At the restaurant, teddy arrives and offers to help call with his phone. But as Bob expresses concern that Teddy’s phone is only charged to 23%, it turns to 11 a.m. and all three try dialing the Wharf Arts Center.
The mile run starts off, and Jimmy Jr. manages to get a few feet ahead of Tina before suddenly feeling winded. Tina sees he is a terrible runner with flailing limbs and an off-balance stance. The five kids manage. To start off running.
At the restaurant, Bob, Linda and Teddy are on hold with the center, causing awkwardness with a customer who tries to order as they keep thinking someone answered them before leaving.
On the run, Tina feels bad for Jimmy Jr. and how terrible he is at running, but decides “screw it” and overtakes him. The five reach the bikes and wait until Large Tommy is far enough out of sight to start riding their bikes. Unfortunately, Gene’s bike chain breaks and comes off while he is riding, causing him to fall over as they ride to the end of the block. However, Mr. Frond is on his scooter, and sees Gene try and hide his bike behind a building. Gene manages to hide his bike but, as the others watch on, he has to run back the other way to finish the course.
Alex wants to go back to help Gene, but Courtney looks at her phone and see Tommy has made the first turn, so Louise tells them they are going to get the ice cream, as if they go back, no one will get ice cream, and to “go forward for Gene”, despite Rudy questioning how it would be for Gene, but Alex and Courtney agree to do it for Gene. Gene manages to run to the back of the race pack, as Frond scoots on ahead. Tina has overtaken jimmy Jr.s’ spot in the run, and he pants as he tries to catch up.
At the restaurant, Teddy’s phone rings, and he manages to get on the lien with someone, though thanks to a bad connection he must stand on a booth to get reception. But then he forgets what show he is calling about, and soon he gets distracted by hearing about all the upcoming Wharf Arts shows, before Bob and Linda tell him to just get the Cake tickets. As he is about to secure them, however, his old phone’s battery dies, as it was at 3 percent.
At Moo’s Clues, the kids get in, and are excited that they have every flavor and no line, and get their free scoops. While running, Gene catches up to Tommy, and tries to take a break but Tommy tells him that it will hurt so much if he stops moving. Jimmy Jr. has fallen far behind Tina, even as he trash-talks her in an attempt to get to her.
At the restaurant, Linda manages to get through to the center on the in-shop phone, but informs Bob that he last two were just sold. When teddy says there was nothing nay of them could have done, an angry Bob flips out on him, blaming him for losing their chance at the tickets due to not charging his phone as Teddy starts complaining that his phone only charges to 23 percent, while bob yells that he should bring a charger. The argument continues as Teddy asks if he should replace his phone every ten years (which as Bob points out, he should) and Teddy leaves in a huff.
The kids sit on the curb outside Moo’s Clues, eating their ice cream cones fast, but Alex and Louise feel guilty leaving Gene behind. Then Louise gets an idea: Just because they left gene behind doesn’t mean they leave his scoop behind, as in, they put together all their half-eaten scoops into Louise’s cone for Gene. However, they also have to rush off as Tommy is almost at the finish line. Gene and Tommy are still running, when the kids on their bikes catch up to them as they make the final turn toward the school. As Gene cannot stop and Louise is riding her bike with one hand (to hold the ice cream in the other), Gene takes the cone but cannot stop to enjoy it and keeps running.
Unfortunately for the kids, Courtney’s dad Doug drives by, as he has the cat collar tracker app on his phone too, and believes that Susan has run away. He stops the car and tries to talk to Courtney about what happened, but sees on the app that the collar is getting away and runs to stop Tommy and Gene, who collapses form the fatigue and pain when they stop. Doug opens the hydration pack, getting the attention of frond, but Doug only finds the collar and feels he needs to find the cat, to Frond’s horror at a lost cat.
Frond demands Gene get up and explain how he got the ice cream, but Gene is in too much pain from running to stand up. Courtney explains that Susan is at home and she just borrowed the collar, but Frond still demands an explanation. Jimmy Jr. is still behind Tina, and says he is sorry and should have run with her, but he got competitive, and after she says he was a jerk about it, he asks if it’s too late to run the rest of the mile with her. Tina slows down, but Jimmy starts speeding up after overtaking her, and she speeds up to run ahead of him. Tina gets to the finish line before Jimmy Jr., and doesn’t forgive him until he starts stretching out his rear.
Frond says that since no one will talk, they will all be doing the mile the next day, before amending that to say he needs to check with Principal Spoors to see if he has the authority to make them do it. Louise admits defeat and says they will do the mile (which frond points out they have to), but says that Gene should not have to as he ran so much. Frond realizes that Gene and Tommy are gone, and are running, and manage to get to the end of the mile in front of the school. Gene enjoys the cone, which has the flavors melted together, and frond concedes that Gene doesn’t have to run the mile the next day but the rest of them do (again saying only if he has the authority).
At the restaurant, Bob has cooled down and Teddy comes back inside. Bob apologizes for getting upset at Teddy, before teddy cuts him off, and an argument once again erupts as Bob tells teddy he cannot even let someone apologize and tells him to leave, before apologizing again. Teddy tells them that he had a phone charger in his truck, and he got a voicemail from the Wharf Arts center that they set aside two tickets for the Belchers, but he has to call back in the next five minutes, before Bob tells him to call back. Teddy does, but soon gets off-track again in conversation before his phone battery dies. Teddy asks Bob if he can borrow his phone.
In the ending credits, Bob can be seen watching Cake.
Videos[]
External links[]
- "The Gene Mile" on IMDb
- "The Gene Mile" press release via The Futon Critic
- "The Gene Mile" script via Springfield! Springfield!
- "The Gene Mile" review at The A.V. Club