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For the band, see Hormone-iums.


Owwwww, Mr. Frond, she fell on meee.

"The Hormone-iums" is the fourteenth episode in Season 6, being the one hundred and second episode overall.


When Angela comes down with a bad case of mononucleosis, Tina gets her shot as soloist of the Hormone-iums. But as she rehearses for the big assembly, she realizes that her role in the play could ruin her social status. Meanwhile, Linda strikes gold with a business plan that she thinks could make the Belchers rich.


Tina awakens from a dream about being the lead singer for Wagstaff’s puberty-education singing group, the Hormone-iums, in front of a large audience. At breakfast, Tina is depressed as despite being with the group two years and getting over her stage fright, (put Hamburger diner theater link here) Mr. Frond has still not given her a solo to sing. At lunch in the cafeteria, Tina talks to Zeke and Jimmy Jr, revealing that Jocelyn is holding a birthday party on Friday night, with a 45-minute window where her mother will be out so that they will be unsupervised and play Spin The Bottle. The Hormone-iums group (Tina, Peter Pescadero, Darryl, Angela and Candy) are to perform a song about body hair when Angela, the lead singer, suddenly faints. Frond gives the group the news later that Angela has come down with mononucleosis, and that on Friday there will be a special assembly about the dangers of mono, and the principal is allowing them to perform a new revue, ‘’Mona Nucleosis’’ in the auditorium. After Candy opts to not try out to be the temporary female soloist (only being in the group as punishment), Tina is the new soloist.

At first, Tina is excited about her new starring role, dreaming about being a starlet whom Jimmy Jr. and Zeke fight over, and exhibiting new confidence. During rehearsals, the songs are about how kissing is scary, and even how mono can cause death. Tina questions Mr. Frond on how her character dying seems extreme, and that most of the time kissing is fine, but he refuses and wants more drama and no subtlety. Tina is upset about the lying of the script that she’s been given. The Wagstaff school news program plays in classes, including a clip of Tina singing about not wanting kissing and how it causes death as part of the show, which leads to Tammy as newscaster saying don’t kiss Tina. Other students start thinking she doesn’t like kissing, and Tina soon runs outside to find that her face is now plastered on posters for the show saying “I Am Mona! Warning: Don’t Kiss This Face.” She tries to tear down the posters due to everyone thinking that she doesn’t like kissing and no one will ever want to kiss her again, but Frond stops her. Tina threatens to quit the show, but Frond convinces her that no one really thinks she doesn’t like kissing, as well as bringing up how he’s wanted to use the auditorium for Hormone-ium shows for years. He offers to make her the permanent female soloist of the group, and she reluctantly accepts.

Tina finds out that she is uninvited to Jocelyn’s party on Tammy’s word, due to them thinking that Tina is now a “kissing narc” who will rat them out, despite her protests that she’s just playing a part. The posters continue to stay up and the other kids ignore her. During rehearsals, Tina is in a hospital bed singing about how kissing caused her death in character. That night at dinner, Tina is upset and calls dreams dumb before running into her room to cry while carrying spaghetti. Bob goes in to talk, and she reveals about Jocelyn’s 45-minute party and how she was uninvited due to being “the face of anti-kissing.” And that she will never be kissed again because of the show, which Bob points out is not true as people will want to kiss her, and after an awkward hypothetical about what boys would want to kiss her, he says that puberty positivity is important to her but recommends that if she says something she doesn’t believe in, then maybe she shouldn’t do it, and whether she’s kissed anyone or not, she’s in charge of her own mouth.

At school the next day, students are piling in for the mandatory assembly, and the Hormone-iums are ready to go on, with Tina telling the others that she made some last-minute changes to the shows’ ending. During the performance, near the closing umber where mona lies in a hospital bed dying, Tina goes off-script and rises from the bed to give information she looked up about how mono only kills the young, old, and immunocompromised, to Frond’s shock, as he tells her to stay on script if she wants permanent soloist. Tina instead continues, kissing Darryl to show it’s not dangerous for the most part, saying people don’t have to not kiss, just “smart kiss.” After the show, Jocelyn reinvites Tina to the party, which the latter accepts. The next day, Tina leaves to play Spin The Bottle at the party.

Linda is holding a lost-and-found auction in the restaurant, with Teddy, Mort, and Gretchen all eager to buy items such as a matchbook. However, she has more difficulty selling an extra-large high-heeled show left behind by Marshmallow (who said it was out of season and didn’t want it back), and in desperation she showcases its possibilities by putting a bottle of wine in it. This gets the regulars’ attention, and a bidding war results in Gretchen buying it. The next day, Gretchen returns and says that her friends and fellow hairdressers at the salon all want to buy the Wine Shoe. Linda tries to find out Marshmallow’s phone and address from Bob, btu he doesn’t know. They eventually find out it is a store called Toe-Tanic, which sells oversized women’s shoes, and Gene and Louise tag along. At the store, the clerk reveals that a single pair of shoes goes for $155, and is insulted when Louise asks if there is anything in the 10-dolalr range, pointing out the engineering and materials that go in. Driving back home, Linda is sad about having dreams and only wine (to her own surprise at asking what good wine is), but Louise points out that they can pitch the idea to investors, as in Calvin and Felix Fischoeder having a money fight on the street next to them. After school one day, the Belchers try to come up with a pitch to the Fischoeders who will be there tomorrow afternoon. Bob comes up with a Cinderella-themed pitch. The next day, the Belchers put on a play/pitch to the brothers of a prince (played by Bob) giving a shoe to Linda, who plays Cinderella with a bottle of wine. The brothers are confused, with Felix thinking that they are pitching the play and offers to fund it, but are not enthused about Wine Shoe, even after Louise prompts Linda to fake crying to gain sympathy without success. Some time later, Linda is online and finds a company with her Wine Shoe concept called “Booze Shoes”, and she thinks they stole her idea, until Bob notices that it’s been in business for at least five years. He does point out that on the bright side, she came up with an idea on her own that people clearly want to buy. Inspired, Linda starts thinking up other businesses like “Candle Sandals.”



Also Starring


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Episode Navigation vte
Season Episodes
The Demo
1 Human FleshCrawl SpaceSacred CowSexy Dance FightingHamburger Dinner TheaterSheesh! Cab, Bob?Bed & BreakfastArt CrawlSpaghetti Western and MeatballsBurger WarWeekend at Mort'sLobsterfestTorpedo
2 The BelchiesBob Day AfternoonSynchronized SwimmingBurgerbossFood Truckin'Dr. YapMoody FoodieBad TinaBeefsquatch
3 Ear-sy RiderFull BarsBob Fires the KidsMutiny on the WindbreakerAn Indecent Thanksgiving ProposalThe DeepeningTinarannosaurus WrecksThe Unbearable Like-Likeness of GeneGod Rest Ye Merry Gentle-MannequinsMother Daughter Laser RazorNude BeachBroadcast Wagstaff School NewsMy Fuzzy ValentineLindapendent WomanO.T. The Outside ToiletTopsyTwo for TinaIt Snakes a VillageFamily FracasThe Kids Run the RestaurantBoyz 4 NowCarpe MuseumThe Unnatural
4 A River Runs Through BobFort NightSeaplane!My Big Fat Greek BobTurkey in a CanPurple Rain-UnionBob and DeliverChristmas in the CarSlumber PartyPresto Tina-oEasy Com-mercial, Easy Go-mercialThe Frond FilesMazel TinaUncle TeddyThe Kids Rob a TrainI Get Psy-chic Out of YouThe EquestranautsAmbergrisThe Kids Run AwayGene It OnWharf HorseWorld Wharf II: The Wharfening
5 Work Hard or Die Trying, GirlTina and the Real GhostFriends with Burger-fitsDawn of the PeckBest BurgerFather of the BobTina Tailor Soldier SpyMidday RunSpeakeasy RiderLate Afternoon in the Garden of Bob and LouiseCan't Buy Me MathThe Millie-churian CandidateThe Gayle TalesLi'l Hard DadAdventures in Chinchilla-sittingThe Runway ClubThe Itty Bitty Ditty CommitteeEat, Spray, LindaHousetrapHawk & ChickThe Oeder Games
6 Sliding BobsThe Land ShipThe HaunteningGayle Makin' Bob SledNice-CapadesThe Cook, the Steve, the Gayle, & Her LoverThe Gene & Courtney ShowSexy Dance HealingSacred CouchLice Things Are LiceHouse of 1000 BouncesStand by GeneWag the HogThe Hormone-iumsPro Tiki/Con TikiBye Bye Boo BooThe Horse Rider-erSecret Admiral-irerGlued, Where's My Bob?
7 Flu-ouiseSea Me NowTeen-a WitchThey Serve Horses, Don't They?Large Brother, Where Fart Thou?The Quirk-ducersThe Last Gingerbread House on the LeftEx MachTinaBob ActuallyThere's No Business Like Mr. Business BusinessA Few 'Gurt MenLike Gene for ChocolateThe Grand Mama-pest HotelAquaticismAin't Miss Debatin'Eggs for DaysZero Larp ThirtyThe Laser-inthThelma & Louise Except Thelma is LindaMom, Lies, and VideotapeParaders of the Lost FloatInto the Mild
8 BrunchsquatchThe Silence of the LouiseThe Wolf of Wharf StreetSit Me Baby One More TimeThanks-hoardingThe BleakeningV for Valentine-dettaY Tu Ga-Ga TambienThe Secret Ceramics Room of SecretsSleeping with the FrenemyThe Hurt SoccerCheer Up, Sleepy GeneThe Trouble with DoublesGo Tina on the MountainAre You There Bob? It's Me, BirthdayBoywatchAs I Walk Through the Alley of the Shadow of RampsMo Mommy Mo ProblemsMission Impos-slug-bleSomething Old, Something New, Something Bob Caters for You
9 Just One of the Boyz 4 Now for NowThe Taking of Funtime One Two ThreeTweentrepreneursNightmare on Ocean Avenue StreetLive and Let FlyBobby DriverI Bob Your PardonRoller? I Hardly Know Her!UFO No You Didn'tBetter Off SledLorenzo's Oil? No, Linda'sThe Helen HuntBed, Bob & BeyondEvery Which Way but GooseThe Fresh Princ-ipalRoamin' Bob-idayWhat About Blob?If You Love It So Much, Why Don't You Marionette?Long Time Listener, First Time BobThe Gene MileP.T.A. It Ain't SoYes Without My Zeke
10 The Ring (But Not Scary)Boys Just Wanna Have FungusMotor, She BoatPig Trouble in Little TinaLegends of the MallThe Hawkening: Look Who's Hawking Now!Land of the LoftNow We're Not Cooking with GasAll That GeneHave Yourself a Maily Linda ChristmasDrumforgivenA Fish Called TinaThree Girls and a Little WharfyWag the SongYurty Rotten ScoundrelsFlat-Top o' the Morning to YaJust the TripTappy Tappy Tappy Tap Tap TapThe Handyman CanPoops!… I Didn't Do It AgainLocal She-roPrank You for Being a Friend
11 Dream a Little Bob of BobWorms of In-Rear-mentCopa-Bob-banaHeartbreak Hotel-oweenFast Time Capsules at Wagstaff SchoolBob Belcher and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad KidsDiarrhea of a Poopy KidThe Terminalator II: Terminals of EndearmentMommy BoyYachty or NiceRomancing the BeefDie Card, or Card TryingAn Incon-Wheelie-ent TruthMr. Lonely FartsSheshank RedumptionY Tu Tina TambiénFingers-looseSome Kind of Fender BenderfulBridge Over Troubled RudySteal Magazine-oliasTell Me Dumb Thing GoodVampire Disco Death Dance
12 Manic Pixie Crap ShowCrystal MessThe PumpkineningDriving Big DummySeven-tween AgainBeach, PleaseLoft in BedslationStuck in the Kitchen with YouFOMO You Didn'tGene's Christmas BreakTouch of Eval(uations)Ferry on My Wayward Bob and LindaFrigate Me KnotVideo Killed the Gene-io StarAncient Misbehavin'Interview with a Pop-pop-pireThe Spider House RulesClear and Present GingerA-Sprout a BoySauce Side StorySome Like It Bot Part 1: Eighth Grade RunnerSome Like It Bot Part 2: Judge-bot Day
13 To Bob, or Not to BobThe Reeky Lake ShowWhat About Job?Comet-y of ErrorsSo You Stink You Can DanceApple Gore-chard! (But Not Gory)Ready Player GenePutts-givingShow Mama from the GraveThe Plight Before ChristmasCheaty Cheaty Bang BangOh Row You Didn'tStop! Or My Mom Will Sleuth!These Boots Are Made for StalkingThe Show (and Tell) Must Go OnWhat a (April) Fool BelievesCrows Encounters of the Bird KindGift Card or Buy TryingCrab-solutely FabulousRadio No You Didn'tMother Author Laser PointerAmelia
14 Fight at the Not Okay Chore-ralThe Amazing RudyThe PickleoretteRunning Down a GeneBully-ieve It or NotEscape from Which Island?The (Raccoon) King and IWharf, Me Worry?Fraud of the Dead: Zombie-docu-pocalypseThe Nightmare 2 Days Before ChristmasMission Impossi-BobJade in the ShadeButt Sweat and Fears
15 TBA
Unknown season (order subject to change) The Big StieblitzkiThe Tina Table: The Tables Have Tina-edThe Right Tough StuffTo Catch a BeefDon't Stop Be-cheesin'For Whom the Doll ToesThey Slug Horses, Don't They?Hope N' Mic NightBoogie DaysDog Christmas Day After AfternoonAdvice Things Are Ad-NiceMr. Fischoeder's OpusLike a Candle in the GymSnackfaceThe Place Beyond the PineconesThe Lost City of AtlanticInsomnibobWild Steal-ionsThe Shell GameThe Dead Bo-ats SocietyDad-urday Kite FeverMr. Safebody
See also: Episode Guide