The upcoming Land Ship parade could mean increased business for Bob until he learns that port-o-potties will be placed in front of the restaurant. Meanwhile, Tina learns from her friends that she’s boring, so she joins up with Jordan who has been vandalizing the school with graffiti. But when Jordan wants to spray graffiti on the Land Ship, Tina must decide between ruining the parade or disappointing her new crush.
Synopsis[]
The kids attend a school assembly, describing the history of the Land Ship and its eponymous parade that weekend, a celebration of a major historical battle in the War of 1812. The night before the battle, at the suggestion of thirteen year-old Patience Headbottom, the town's only naval vessel (a gaff-rigged single-masted sloop-of-war) was deliberately dragged onto land near the present-day site of the Fashion City Outlet Mall. The townspeople lit the ship's lights, hoisted the sails, and rocked the vessel back and forth to create the impression of a vessel at sea. The illusion deceived the British into misjudging the coast and running their ships ashore before they were in firing range, enabling defenders to slaughter the grounded British naval forces. The Land Ship became an important part of local history, earning the nickname "the sloop that duped the British."
At the same time, there has been a rash of graffiti around the school by the mysterious "Ghost Boy", which Frond want stopped. During the assembly, Tammy and Jocelyn tell Tina that she is boring and uncool, and Tina starts voicing a desire to be thought of spicy and fun. While renewing a library book that is not due, she notices a Ghost Boy drawing in a book cover, and learns the last person who had is was Jordan Cagan. Tina follows again in disbelief, as he is a bland, wholesome student. However, she sees him draw a Ghost Boy logo on a trashcan and surprises him, but refuses to turn him in to avoid her bland reputation. That night, she and Jordan sneak out and tag Ghost Boy designs with spray paint. The next morning, Tina is tired but feels alive.
At school the next day, Jordan asks Tina to go out tagging again that night while Louise is suspicious of how they became friendly so fats. One the next two nights, Tina and Jordan spray memo graffiti, which results in Tina staying up later and falling asleep at breakfast. The day before the Land Ship parade, Jordan feels energized and tries to kiss Tina, in a way more like trying to eat her face, and suggests that night to tag the Land Ship sail. Tina is unsure but given the ship's role in history but goes along with it. Louise is still suspicious and tells Tina she will figure it out. That night, Jordan and Tina sneak onto the ship in its museum housing, with Tina nervous as they paint the sail and furl it. Returning home, Tina sees she has black spray paint residue on her hands and washes it in a porta-potti, being caught by Gene and Louise. She reveals that the two have been tagging and tagged the Land Ship, to the other sibling's surprise. Tina realizes they can paint over the canvas sail with white paint, and Gene reveals a stash of paint and sparkle in the basement. Tina goes back to the Land Ship, white Louise and Gene joining her.
At the ship hangar, the kids paint until sunrise, but Tina notices a spot of black paint high up on the mainsail and races back to get it, as the historical re-enactors for the parade arrive by bus. Tina manages to reach and paint over it, with the three escaping right before they can be spotted. At the parade later in the morning, Jordan arrives to view the sail raising, but sees that instead of a giant Ghost Boy, there is a giant spot of white paint. he realizes Tina did it in front of the other kids watching the parade, and she admits it, stating that it wasn't her. Jordan feels betrayed and will never know love, but Tina says someday he will find a girl who doesn't mind that's a bad kisser and so on. Seconds later, another girl comes up and asks Jordan to hang out and they walk off. Jimmy Jr. is jealous and asks her to officially watch the parade together, Zeke likes her dangerous and non-dangerous streak, Tammy says she has more respect for Tina.
On Ocean Avenue, the parade route and barricades are being set up. Bob and Linda are excited about the parade bringing in business, but things turn sour when a row of porta-potties are delivered and placed in front. Despite Bob's insistence that there is an empty storefront they can be put, the workmen refuse. The next day, his efforts to call the city to move them ends to no avail, and days pass with the toilets outside, with the city even adding another after Bob talks to them again. Bob resolves that night to move them himself, with Linda and Teddy joining. They use Teddy's truck in an attempt to push the potties down the street, but only end up ready to tip them over. When Teddy pull forward too fast, the contents of the toilets slosh and produce an even worse smell. The day of the parade, the line for the port-potties is long while Bob's Burgers is empty. After taunting by Jimmy Pesto, Bob hatches a plan, and soon begins taking orders for people standing in line, making a killing.