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Oh, no. I'm accidentally spilling this glass of water on your shoe.

"They Serve Horses, Don't They?" is the fourth episode in Season 7, being the one-hundred-and-eleventh episode overall.

Plot[]

After a tip from Jimmy Pesto, Bob secures a new meat provider who claims to save clients money on every order. The Belchers quickly realize that the situation is too good to be true, as they find themselves involved in a full-blown investigation, led by Hugo and Ron.

Synopsis[]

In the restaurant, the kids are trying to get out of work (using Gene’s sore arm from rummaging for a cashew as an excuse) when Jimmy Pesto barges in. He is sporting a tan and after telling Bob he doesn’t do things like save on food costs and charging more, brags about how the family spent a fun week in the Bahamas (except for Jimmy Jr, who forgot to put on sunblock and became sunburned red), on account of his new meat vender, Jack Conway, who saves Jimmy over $1,000 a month.

Later in the kitchen, Bob is counting up costs of items such as toilet paper, and Linda suggests they call Jimmy’s meat guy to save on the shopping list. Bob says they already have a meat guy, Demetri, but Linda says that he might be able to save them money, and Bob is convinced to do ‘just a phone call”. Later, Jack Conway shows up, and tells the two he can save them $400 a month without sacrificing quality. Bob is skeptical, but Jack says he has relationships with several small cattle farms in Ohio and Vermont, with friendly prices. Bob is still concerned given Jack does business with Jimmy Pesto, but Jack outright says Jimmy is an idiot with great taste in meat distributors. He convinces Bob and Linda to buy a small box that day to try it.

The next day in the restaurant, Bob and Teddy are trying the new meat in burgers, but Bob finds that it is not great but rather tastes weird. While Teddy loves it, Bob says it won’t work out and that they won’t buy from Jack again. Just then, Hugo and Ron enter. After Hugo’s accusatory truth-or-dare is derailed by the other Belchers, he asks Bob if his menu says he serves “USDA Prime Beef”, which Bob says is true, but Hugo tells him that they have photos of Jack entering the restaurant. Hugo asks Bob if he knows what “meat fraud’ is, and reveals that the “beef” jack sold them is in fact horse meat. Everyone is shocked, Teddy is disgusted, and Tina, ever the horse lover, begins hyperventilating.

They Serve Horses bob chest shave

Bob prepares to go undercover.

Hugo tells them that they have to be shut down while Bob swears he did not know. Hugo tells him there is another option: Bob will wear a wire and help Ron and Hugo do an undercover sting investigation to bust Jack. Bob calls and sets up another delivery with Jack. Hugo then tells him to take over his shirt to be shaved for the “wire”, Bob asks why Hugo didn’t ask Jimmy, who bought more, but Hugo says that while he thinks Jimmy is “gorgeous”, he is not smart. Bob reluctantly removes his shirt, but is exasperated at Ron shaving his chest with sweet and sour sauce from a Chinese restaurant, as they lacked shaving cream. Bob asks if health inspectors even do this, as it seems it’s more an FDA thing, and Hugo says it is and they are out of their jurisdiction, but refuses to call them and instead wants to solve the case himself and “throw it in their stupid faces.”

Bob says that the two have no idea what they’re doing, but Hugo tires to prove him wrong with a “wireless audio transmitter”, which is really a pink star-shaped radio and microphone for kids. Hugo says it will work, and with its 50-foot range, he and Ron will be parked across the street listening in and recording onto a child’s red cassette player. Hugo needs two things: Jack claiming his meat is USDA prime beef, and Jack accepting payment for it (while an angry Tina says she will punch Jack over and over before Linda stops her).

Later in the restaurant, Bob tells the kids that the interaction will be over quick and asks them to act normal for five minutes, but when an upset Tina throws a salt shaker cap, Bob tells them to go upstairs. Louise and Gene protest, as they feel there is little to see around there as is, and Linda tells him to let them stay when Jack arrives with another box of meat. Bob awkwardly mentions the meat he ordered and hands Jack a check, but he manages to stop Jack with a stilted conversation about meat and how Jack sold him USDA prime, but fails to get Jack to say it is USDA prime beef as well (and Ron in the van saying Bob is even worse at this than they thought he’d be). Jack merely finds Bob “a little weird” but likes it and says they are both “weirdos”.

They Serve Horses, Don't They? binoculars bob chest scratch

Bob's chest really itches.

Just then, Tina comes up to Jack and maliciously spills a glass of water on his shoes, but Jack manages to step away from most of it before leaving. In the van, Hugo berates Bob that they got nothing, and that Bob now has to order more horse meat for another sting before ordering Ron to reshave Bob’s chest. Bob protests, as it is starting to get itchy, and Hugo and Louise get into an argument about Louise calling the FDA if the kids are not allowed to stay in the van while Hugo says he will shut them down in response. Bob stops them and agrees to call. Later back in the restaurant, Jack delivers boxes of meat to Bob and Linda. Jack says out loud this time it is USDA prime beef, but as Hugo, Ron and the kids listen in, they hear a sound blocking it out; Bob, whose chest was itchy from being shaved earlier, is now impulsively scratching the area where the microphone is taped. Ron calls the restaurant with Linda answering, telling her they are losing all the evidence due to Bob’s scratching, and Linda tries to tell Bob to stop scratching, but it’s too late.

Back in the van, Bob says he was really itchy and tells Hugo to use less tape on his chest, while Hugo tells him to do yet another sting. The next day, Jack makes another delivery, but the microphone, due to having less tape, falls off Bob’s chest, and he accidentally steps on it. Hugo yells at Bob to do another sting call, but Bob says the walk-in is full of horse meat. An angry Tina tells him they need to get Jack as a horse cannot walk away and it “might be dead soon” if he doesn’t act. Bob then gets a call on his phone, and it is Jack inviting his “favorite customers” to his birthday party. Hugo tells him they will go to the birthday party to finally take down Jack.

They Serve Horses, Don't They? jack party

The Belchers arrive for the party.

Outside Jack’s apartment complex, Hugo and Ron are with the Belchers in the van, with Bob unsure since Jack seems like a nice guy apart from the meat fraud, but Hugo and Tina yell at him. Hugo tells him that with the microphone crushed, Bob will need to carry the tape recorder in his pocket and get up close to Jack as possible, while Tina cannot blow their covers. In the apartment yard, the party is in full swing, with Jimmy and his kids there among others. Jack greets them, and Gene and Louise go off to sue the Slip’N Slide. Jimmy Jr is still sunburned and Tina rushes over to apply aloe on him. Jack waves over to his wife Marian that the Belchers are there, and Bob is more uncertain about the job, given Marian is several months pregnant and Jack’s family is growing.

Jimmy Jr stops being slathered in lotion by Tina to eat a hot dog. Tina, however, becomes convinced that Jack is serving horse meat dogs at his party and swats it away from him. At the food table, Linda loves the huge wine glass she has, while the kids have snacks in between slipping and sliding. Bob meanwhile is having a horrible time having to do a sting of a person who seems like a nice guy. Linda wonders if they should avoid ruining the other family’s lives and enjoy the party, before they all have to hide their enjoyment from Tina.

They Serve Horses, Don't They? bob standing table jack

Later, Bob and Jack are sitting at a picnic table, where Jack admits Jimmy Pesto just heard about the party and invited himself. Bob asks Jack about the meat he sells, and Jack says Jimmy buys. The “super cheap stuff’. Bob awkwardly tries to get his pocket closer to Jack to say he sold Bob “USDA Prime”, including standing on the table’s bench next to Jack, but manages to get Jack to say “USDA prime beef” before he asks Bob what he’s doing standing on the seat. Bob tries to bluff that he is just enjoying the view, but Jack suspects something. He asks Bob if he likes ska music, and invites inside their ground-level apartment to listen to some ska. Once inside the living room, Jack urns up the stereo very high, before leaning into Bob’s ear and whispering that he knows about the sting, to Bob’s horror (and confusion, when Jack accidentally kisses his ear).

Jack is upset at Bob wearing a wire and lying to him, while Bob points out that Jack lied to him first about the horse meat, which Jack tries to ignore. He turns down the stereo and asks if someone like the feds are listening in right now, but Bob admits he’s now just carrying the tape recorder. Jack is relieved that no one has heard what he has told bob, and Bob realizes he should not have told Jack this. Jack asks to look at the tape recorder, but Bob just says no. Meanwhile in the van, Hugo is nervous while Ron puts on a book on tape read by Alan Alda to pass the time. Jack says he can pay Bob back, but Bob says it is not about the money. Jack offers to sell him real beef instead of horse meat once he can find a distributor who sells beef, but Bob refuses and says he will hand over the tape. Jack manages to distract Bob and grabs the tape recorder, resulting in the two struggling over it.

They Serve Horses, Don't They? bob slip n slide

Bob ries to escape.

Bob manages to run outside with the tape recorder and tells his family they are leaving as Jack chases him. Jack manages to block the exit, and runs after Bob, who runs back in. Bob manages to use the Slip’N Slide to escape, sliding on his stomach with the tape recorder held up to keep it dry. But the grass is wet, and Bob ends up sliding out into one of the bushes separating the yard from the sidewalk. Hugo and Ron see him sticking out, and Bob throws the tape recorder at Hugo to keep Jack from grabbing it. But Hugo is self-admittedly terrible at catching things, and fumbles the tape recorder, dropping it on the street and breaking it. Jack is happy thinking the evidence is destroyed, before Tina finds that the tape survived.

They Serve Horses, Don't They? tape jack caught

Jack's days of selling horse meat are over.

Later back at the restaurant, Bob notes Jimmy across the street, who, due to being made to raise his meat prices again, is making crude gestures and yelling at Bob. Teddy tries discreetly asking for a certain burger, before Bob figures it out and says they do not serve horse meat anymore; Teddy is upset, as he found he loved the horse burgers and cannot stop thinking about them. Jack comes in to apologize, carrying a notebook. Bob surprised he is not in jail, but Jack tells him he will be able to stay out of jail, but has many legal fees and fines, and they might take away his slippy slide. Tina, still angry, asks Jack what he is doing there, but Jack says he is there just to apologize, and to thank Bob. He’s done selling horse meat, to Teddy’s disappointment, but has started writing a book about his experiences. Entitled Friday Night Meats (to Bob being confused again about why it is titled that), Jack begins reading from his notebook of his selling horse meat on Friday nights, to Linda’s amazement and Bob’s exasperation.

Cast[]

Starring

Also Starring

Videos[]

External links[]


Episode Navigation vte
Season Episodes
The Demo
1 Human FleshCrawl SpaceSacred CowSexy Dance FightingHamburger Dinner TheaterSheesh! Cab, Bob?Bed & BreakfastArt CrawlSpaghetti Western and MeatballsBurger WarWeekend at Mort'sLobsterfestTorpedo
2 The BelchiesBob Day AfternoonSynchronized SwimmingBurgerbossFood Truckin'Dr. YapMoody FoodieBad TinaBeefsquatch
3 Ear-sy RiderFull BarsBob Fires the KidsMutiny on the WindbreakerAn Indecent Thanksgiving ProposalThe DeepeningTinarannosaurus WrecksThe Unbearable Like-Likeness of GeneGod Rest Ye Merry Gentle-MannequinsMother Daughter Laser RazorNude BeachBroadcast Wagstaff School NewsMy Fuzzy ValentineLindapendent WomanO.T. The Outside ToiletTopsyTwo for TinaIt Snakes a VillageFamily FracasThe Kids Run the RestaurantBoyz 4 NowCarpe MuseumThe Unnatural
4 A River Runs Through BobFort NightSeaplane!My Big Fat Greek BobTurkey in a CanPurple Rain-UnionBob and DeliverChristmas in the CarSlumber PartyPresto Tina-oEasy Com-mercial, Easy Go-mercialThe Frond FilesMazel TinaUncle TeddyThe Kids Rob a TrainI Get Psy-chic Out of YouThe EquestranautsAmbergrisThe Kids Run AwayGene It OnWharf HorseWorld Wharf II: The Wharfening
5 Work Hard or Die Trying, GirlTina and the Real GhostFriends with Burger-fitsDawn of the PeckBest BurgerFather of the BobTina Tailor Soldier SpyMidday RunSpeakeasy RiderLate Afternoon in the Garden of Bob and LouiseCan't Buy Me MathThe Millie-churian CandidateThe Gayle TalesLi'l Hard DadAdventures in Chinchilla-sittingThe Runway ClubThe Itty Bitty Ditty CommitteeEat, Spray, LindaHousetrapHawk & ChickThe Oeder Games
6 Sliding BobsThe Land ShipThe HaunteningGayle Makin' Bob SledNice-CapadesThe Cook, the Steve, the Gayle, & Her LoverThe Gene & Courtney ShowSexy Dance HealingSacred CouchLice Things Are LiceHouse of 1000 BouncesStand by GeneWag the HogThe Hormone-iumsPro Tiki/Con TikiBye Bye Boo BooThe Horse Rider-erSecret Admiral-irerGlued, Where's My Bob?
7 Flu-ouiseSea Me NowTeen-a WitchThey Serve Horses, Don't They?Large Brother, Where Fart Thou?The Quirk-ducersThe Last Gingerbread House on the LeftEx MachTinaBob ActuallyThere's No Business Like Mr. Business BusinessA Few 'Gurt MenLike Gene for ChocolateThe Grand Mama-pest HotelAquaticismAin't Miss Debatin'Eggs for DaysZero Larp ThirtyThe Laser-inthThelma & Louise Except Thelma is LindaMom, Lies, and VideotapeParaders of the Lost FloatInto the Mild
8 BrunchsquatchThe Silence of the LouiseThe Wolf of Wharf StreetSit Me Baby One More TimeThanks-hoardingThe BleakeningV for Valentine-dettaY Tu Ga-Ga TambienThe Secret Ceramics Room of SecretsSleeping with the FrenemyThe Hurt SoccerCheer Up, Sleepy GeneThe Trouble with DoublesGo Tina on the MountainAre You There Bob? It's Me, BirthdayBoywatchAs I Walk Through the Alley of the Shadow of RampsMo Mommy Mo ProblemsMission Impos-slug-bleSomething Old, Something New, Something Bob Caters for You
9 Just One of the Boyz 4 Now for NowThe Taking of Funtime One Two ThreeTweentrepreneursNightmare on Ocean Avenue StreetLive and Let FlyBobby DriverI Bob Your PardonRoller? I Hardly Know Her!UFO No You Didn'tBetter Off SledLorenzo's Oil? No, Linda'sThe Helen HuntBed, Bob & BeyondEvery Which Way but GooseThe Fresh Princ-ipalRoamin' Bob-idayWhat About Blob?If You Love It So Much, Why Don't You Marionette?Long Time Listener, First Time BobThe Gene MileP.T.A. It Ain't SoYes Without My Zeke
10 The Ring (But Not Scary)Boys Just Wanna Have FungusMotor, She BoatPig Trouble in Little TinaLegends of the MallThe Hawkening: Look Who's Hawking Now!Land of the LoftNow We're Not Cooking with GasAll That GeneHave Yourself a Maily Linda ChristmasDrumforgivenA Fish Called TinaThree Girls and a Little WharfyWag the SongYurty Rotten ScoundrelsFlat-Top o' the Morning to YaJust the TripTappy Tappy Tappy Tap Tap TapThe Handyman CanPoops!… I Didn't Do It AgainLocal She-roPrank You for Being a Friend
11 Dream a Little Bob of BobWorms of In-Rear-mentCopa-Bob-banaHeartbreak Hotel-oweenFast Time Capsules at Wagstaff SchoolBob Belcher and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad KidsDiarrhea of a Poopy KidThe Terminalator II: Terminals of EndearmentMommy BoyYachty or NiceRomancing the BeefDie Card, or Card TryingAn Incon-Wheelie-ent TruthMr. Lonely FartsSheshank RedumptionY Tu Tina TambiénFingers-looseSome Kind of Fender BenderfulBridge Over Troubled RudySteal Magazine-oliasTell Me Dumb Thing GoodVampire Disco Death Dance
12 Manic Pixie Crap ShowCrystal MessThe PumpkineningDriving Big DummySeven-tween AgainBeach, PleaseLoft in BedslationStuck in the Kitchen with YouFOMO You Didn'tGene's Christmas BreakTouch of Eval(uations)Ferry on My Wayward Bob and LindaFrigate Me KnotVideo Killed the Gene-io StarAncient Misbehavin'Interview with a Pop-pop-pireThe Spider House RulesClear and Present GingerA-Sprout a BoySauce Side StorySome Like It Bot Part 1: Eighth Grade RunnerSome Like It Bot Part 2: Judge-bot Day
13 To Bob, or Not to BobThe Reeky Lake ShowWhat About Job?Comet-y of ErrorsSo You Stink You Can DanceApple Gore-chard! (But Not Gory)Ready Player GenePutts-givingShow Mama from the GraveThe Plight Before ChristmasCheaty Cheaty Bang BangOh Row You Didn'tStop! Or My Mom Will Sleuth!These Boots Are Made for StalkingThe Show (and Tell) Must Go OnWhat a (April) Fool BelievesCrows Encounters of the Bird KindGift Card or Buy TryingCrab-solutely FabulousRadio No You Didn'tMother Author Laser PointerAmelia
14 Fight at the Not Okay Chore-ralThe Amazing RudyThe PickleoretteRunning Down a GeneBully-ieve It or NotEscape from Which Island?The (Raccoon) King and IWharf, Me Worry?Fraud of the Dead: Zombie-docu-pocalypseThe Nightmare 2 Days Before ChristmasMission Impossi-BobJade in the ShadeButt Sweat and Fears
15 TBA
Unknown season (order subject to change) The Big StieblitzkiThe Tina Table: The Tables Have Tina-edThe Right Tough StuffTo Catch a BeefDon't Stop Be-cheesin'For Whom the Doll ToesThey Slug Horses, Don't They?Hope N' Mic NightBoogie DaysDog Christmas Day After AfternoonAdvice Things Are Ad-NiceMr. Fischoeder's OpusLike a Candle in the GymSnackfaceThe Place Beyond the PineconesThe Lost City of AtlanticInsomnibobWild Steal-ionsThe Shell GameThe Dead Bo-ats SocietyDad-urday Kite FeverMr. Safebody
See also: Episode Guide
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