Bob's Burgers Wiki
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Quotes[]

Common[]

I'm okay!
— After falling, Common phrase
I hear that.
— Common phrase
Uhh...
— When nervous, Common phrase
HUH. HUH. HUH. HUH.
— When panicking, Common phrase
What?
— Common phrase

Bob's Burgers[]

Season 1[]

My crotch is itchy.
I have an announcement, too: my bra is chaffing me.
If you need me, I'll be here on the floor dying.
Oh it's okay. I guess I wasn't meant to have a good life.
What's a transvestite hooker?
Thanks, Dad, you're the best pimp I'm ever gonna have.
Do you think horses get songs stuck in their heads?
Is it possible to be in love with 25 people at once?
— "Torpedo"

Season 2[]

Also, if boys had uteruses, they'd be called duderuses.
Just when I think I'm out, those cheeks pull me right back in.
I am a smart, strong, sensual woman.
If we see any mermaids, I'm gonna ask them where their merginas are.
I'm calling it. This party is dead.
Let's just act like a normal family... on vacation with their sexy dentist.
— "Dr. Yap"
Time for the charm bomb to explode.
Detention is no big deal, Mom. Don't have a crap attack.
— "Bad Tina"

Season 3[]

If you think about it, any box could have vibrators in it.
Don't worry, Gene. There's plenty of manatees in the sea. But there's not, really, because they're endangered.
Our toaster is also confused. It doesn't know why we put bagels in it.
I want a dry-erase board so I can write down all my private thoughts and then erase them immediately.
I'm ready to dominate.
Give up, Tina. You're cold and lonely. And you shouldn't have drank that gallon of milk.
Jimmy Jr. had a chance to hitch his trailer to the Tina truck, but now it's headed down the highway to Joshville. Honk, honk.
Dad, if you believe you're beautiful, you will be. I did.
Your ass is grass, and I'm gonna mow it.
My heart just pooped its pants.
I'm no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time like everyone else.
Well, you seem a little shut your face.

Season 4[]

This is the biggest man cave ever, and Tina's going spelunking.
Go to hell, Zeke.
We're chubby chasers.
Hahahahahahahahaha...that's was my evil laugh... and I have something caught in my throat.
Karma's a bitch, and then you die.
Jock health is the most important kind of health.
— in her story, "The Frond Files"
Butts, butts. I love butts.
The hand wants what the hand wants, I can't tell where your back ends and your butt begins.
— to Justin, "Mazel Tina"
Cold cuts just got hot.
No! Stop interpreting! This whole date has been about you, not me! Jimmy Jr., I don't know if you can understand me, but this is the date I wanted. We'd watch a movie, probably 27 Dresses, then we'd walk along the beach at low tide and find a cozy place to sit in the kelp and kiss.

Season 5[]

Dad hung up on me, but it's okay because I know he loves me.
A 'no' is just a 'yes' upside-down.
— to Ray, "Best Burger"
Never trust a boy with a skateboard! They're too fast.
— to Gene, "Best Burger"
Dear Lord Santa, this year, please bless me with a calendar of Australian firefighters holding puppies in casual settings.
I enjoy his opinions on what's ruining America.
One man's trash is another man's present for their father.
Dad will never walk again. By choice. Nor will he love either of you again. By choice. Guys? Did you hear my trash talking?
“'Bathroom spill' is my middle name.

Season 6[]

It's called fate and it's great.
See you soon, bitch.
Oh, hell neigh!
(chuckles) Oh, father. There's no quit in horse.

Season 7[]

Oh, no. I'm accidentally spilling this glass of water on your shoe.
What's the most erotic temperature you can cook a turkey at?
Gene, be strong. Be my big, strong boy.
You did embarrass me last night, and a lot right now, and I'm sure a lot more in the future, but I'm lucky I have a mom I'm close to, and I don't ever want that to change.
And you're a body odor store with burgers!
What the hell?! I'll kill you!
I'M SICK OF YOUR LIES, DAD!

Season 8[]

Wait! I know that I've said this a lot, but this time, I mean it. We should put leaves in our underwear.
You just got banged.
I banged you. I banged Mom. I'm gonna bang everyone in school.
I frickin' love you, man.
Is that guy flashing the officiant?

Season 9[]

Aah! So many butts age 12 to 17!
I could go for another visit to the boy-ffet.
PROCESS-ILY CECILY CAN PROCESS HER ASS!
HOLD HIS ARMS! WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT.
We have to keep our word. I mean, what, we're gonna start lying to turkeys now? YOU THINK THAT'S PRETTY COOL, DAD?!
Hell, yeah. Uh, I mean, sure.
Ronnie, you son of a bitch, if I was just five years younger.
Here's my counteroffer: you're grounded.
If Dad's taught us one thing, it's not to comment on how long someone's taking in the bathroom.

Season 10[]

Our pumpkins will be bumping together. (To Bob Belcher, but louder) I SAID, 'OUR PUMPKINS WILL BE BUMPING TOGETHER.'
Oh, nipple—I mean nothing.
Go lie down? And miss the hayride? Hay'll no!
Ahh! Freezing to death is worse than getting in trouble!
WOULD YOU LIKE A SUGGESTION WHERE TO STICK THIS LOG? YOU HEARD ME.
(singing) And a partridge in a pantry.
Wow, is this where they got knocked down and then got up again?
I want driftwood, damn it!

Season 11[]

I hope your worms are hungry.
IS THE HAMSTER OKAY? IS THE HAMSTER OKAY? Oh, right, we don't have a hamster.
Oh, my God, the slide's dead and Mom's dead? And I've got butt worms? What the hell?!
Check out that wall. Where'd you get it. Walmart?
Mmm, I'd valentine that.
Am I crazy or is that, like, the dreamiest fox scientist ever?
Is it bad to be attracted to a cartoon fox that you don't even know that well?

Season 12[]

Oh, my God. No! Uh, stopping midstream. Okay, sort of stopped. Louise! No, no!
No wands in ponds! No wands in ponds!
Everyone can just like what they like and be who they are, and that's okay.
Hey, what if we all put tape over our mouths until Grandpa gets here? That could be fun.

Season 13[]

Louise, I know we're not always going to want to do the same things, but I'll always have your back.
Mom, are you a senior yet?
I can't help. I'm busy doing this: (groaning)
The truth will keep me warm.
Justice will be my jacket. And also this jacket.

Season 14[]

Is Mom okay? I'm only asking 'cause she ran out of the room crying.
I WON THE LOTTERY! I WON THE LOTTERY! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! DOES ANYONE WANNA SHARE IT? UH, COME ON OVER HERE. TO ME!

Other media[]

SON OF A BUTT!
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