Quotes[]
Common[]
- “I'm okay!”
- — After falling, Common phrase
- “I hear that.”
- — Common phrase
- “Uhh...”
- — When nervous, Common phrase
- “HUH. HUH. HUH. HUH.”
- — When panicking, Common phrase
- “What?”
- — Common phrase
Bob's Burgers[]
Season 1[]
- “My crotch is itchy.”
- — "Human Flesh"
- “I have an announcement, too: my bra is chaffing me.”
- — "Sacred Cow"
- “You can't hurt me. I'm already dead.”
- “If you need me, I'll be here on the floor dying.”
- “Oh it's okay. I guess I wasn't meant to have a good life.”
- “What's a transvestite hooker?”
- “Thanks, Dad, you're the best pimp I'm ever gonna have.”
- “Do you think horses get songs stuck in their heads?”
- — "Bed & Breakfast"
- “Is it possible to be in love with 25 people at once?”
- — "Torpedo"
Season 2[]
- “Also, if boys had uteruses, they'd be called duderuses.”
- — "The Belchies"
- “Just when I think I'm out, those cheeks pull me right back in.”
- — about Jimmy Pesto, Jr., "The Belchies"
- “I am a smart, strong, sensual woman.”
- — "The Belchies"
- “If we see any mermaids, I'm gonna ask them where their merginas are.”
- — "Burgerboss"
- “I'm calling it. This party is dead.”
- — "Burgerboss"
- “Let's just act like a normal family... on vacation with their sexy dentist.”
- — "Dr. Yap"
- “Time for the charm bomb to explode.”
- — "Moody Foodie"
- “Detention is no big deal, Mom. Don't have a crap attack.”
- — "Bad Tina"
Season 3[]
- “If you think about it, any box could have vibrators in it.”
- “Don't worry, Gene. There's plenty of manatees in the sea. But there's not, really, because they're endangered.”
- “Our toaster is also confused. It doesn't know why we put bagels in it.”
- — "The Deepening"
- “I want a dry-erase board so I can write down all my private thoughts and then erase them immediately.”
- “I'm ready to dominate.”
- “Give up, Tina. You're cold and lonely. And you shouldn't have drank that gallon of milk.”
- “Jimmy Jr. had a chance to hitch his trailer to the Tina truck, but now it's headed down the highway to Joshville. Honk, honk.”
- — "Two for Tina"
- “Dad, if you believe you're beautiful, you will be. I did.”
- — "Two for Tina"
- “Your ass is grass, and I'm gonna mow it.”
- — to Jimmy Pesto, Jr., "Family Fracas"
- “My heart just pooped its pants.”
- — "Boyz 4 Now"
- “I'm no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time like everyone else.”
- — "Boyz 4 Now"
- “Well, you seem a little shut your face.”
- — to Teddy, "The Unnatural"
Season 4[]
- “This is the biggest man cave ever, and Tina's going spelunking.”
- “Go to hell, Zeke.”
- — "Bob and Deliver"
- “We're chubby chasers.”
- “Hahahahahahahahaha...that's was my evil laugh... and I have something caught in my throat.”
- — "Presto Tina-O"
- “'Oh, my God, we're screwed, we're screwed,' you love it?”
- “Karma's a bitch, and then you die.”
- “Jock health is the most important kind of health.”
- — in her story, "The Frond Files"
- “Butts, butts. I love butts.”
- — "The Frond Files"
- “The hand wants what the hand wants, I can't tell where your back ends and your butt begins.”
- — to Justin, "Mazel Tina"
- “Cold cuts just got hot.”
- — "Uncle Teddy"
- “No! Stop interpreting! This whole date has been about you, not me! Jimmy Jr., I don't know if you can understand me, but this is the date I wanted. We'd watch a movie, probably 27 Dresses, then we'd walk along the beach at low tide and find a cozy place to sit in the kelp and kiss.”
- — "Gene It On"
Season 5[]
- “Dad hung up on me, but it's okay because I know he loves me.”
- — "Best Burger"
- “A 'no' is just a 'yes' upside-down.”
- — to Ray, "Best Burger"
- “Never trust a boy with a skateboard! They're too fast.”
- — to Gene, "Best Burger"
- “Dear Lord Santa, this year, please bless me with a calendar of Australian firefighters holding puppies in casual settings.”
- “I enjoy his opinions on what's ruining America.”
- — about Big Bob, "Father of the Bob"
- “One man's trash is another man's present for their father.”
- “Dad will never walk again. By choice. Nor will he love either of you again. By choice. Guys? Did you hear my trash talking?”
- “'Bathroom spill' is my middle name.”
- “No, I didn't die. I just fell asleep.”
Season 6[]
- “It's called fate and it's great.”
- — "Sliding Bobs"
- “See you soon, bitch.”
- — to Jordan Cagan, "The Land Ship"
- “We don't have to not kiss. We just have to smart kiss... and now, I am going to kiss everyone in this row.”
- — "The Hormone-iums"
- “Oh, hell neigh!”
- “(chuckles) Oh, father. There's no quit in horse.”
- “I know what I'm doing! I think."Secret Admiral-irer"”
- — {{{2}}}
Season 7[]
- “I am powerful forces.”
- — to Mr. Ambrose, "Teen-a Witch"
- “Oh, no. I'm accidentally spilling this glass of water on your shoe.”
- “What's the most erotic temperature you can cook a turkey at?”
- — "The Quirk-ducers"
- “Gene, be strong. Be my big, strong boy.”
- “You did embarrass me last night, and a lot right now, and I'm sure a lot more in the future, but I'm lucky I have a mom I'm close to, and I don't ever want that to change.”
- “And you're a body odor store with burgers!”
- — to Bob Belcher, "Aquaticism"
- “What the hell?! I'll kill you!”
- “I'M SICK OF YOUR LIES, DAD!”
Season 8[]
- “Ugh! You're as dark as your dark, dirty roots!”
- “That's how you freakin' do that, people!”
- “Wait! I know that I've said this a lot, but this time, I mean it. We should put leaves in our underwear.”
- “You just got banged.”
- “I banged you. I banged Mom. I'm gonna bang everyone in school.”
- — to Bob Belcher, "Y Tu Ga-Ga Tambien"
- “I frickin' love you, man.”
- — to Bob Belcher, "The Hurt Soccer"
- “Is that guy flashing the officiant?”
Season 9[]
- “Aah! So many butts age 12 to 17!”
- “I could go for another visit to the boy-ffet.”
- “PROCESS-ILY CECILY CAN PROCESS HER ASS!”
- — to Phillip Frond, "Live and Let Fly"
- “HOLD HIS ARMS! WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT.”
- — about Phillip Frond, "Live and Let Fly"
- “We have to keep our word. I mean, what, we're gonna start lying to turkeys now? YOU THINK THAT'S PRETTY COOL, DAD?!”
- “Hell, yeah. Uh, I mean, sure.”
- — to Ms. Jacobson, "UFO No You Didn't"
- “Ronnie, you son of a bitch, if I was just five years younger.”
- “Here's my counteroffer: you're grounded.”
- — to Linda Belcher, "The Helen Hunt"
- “If Dad's taught us one thing, it's not to comment on how long someone's taking in the bathroom.”
Season 10[]
- “Our pumpkins will be bumping together. (To Bob Belcher, but louder) I SAID, 'OUR PUMPKINS WILL BE BUMPING TOGETHER.'”
- “Oh, nipple—I mean nothing.”
- “Go lie down? And miss the hayride? Hay'll no!”
- “Ahh! Freezing to death is worse than getting in trouble!”
- — "Land of the Loft"
- “WOULD YOU LIKE A SUGGESTION WHERE TO STICK THIS LOG? YOU HEARD ME.”
- “Boom goes the dynamite.”
- — "All That Gene"
- “(singing) And a partridge in a pantry.”
- “Well, I guess I'm gonna go return this sock to Jimmy Jr.”
- “Wow, is this where they got knocked down and then got up again?”
- — about Chumawumba, "Local She-ro"
- “I want driftwood, damn it!”
- — "Local She-ro"
Season 11[]
- “I hope your worms are hungry.”
- — to Bob Belcher, "Worms of In-Rear-ment"
- “IS THE HAMSTER OKAY? IS THE HAMSTER OKAY? Oh, right, we don't have a hamster.”
- “Oh, my God, the slide's dead and Mom's dead? And I've got butt worms? What the hell?!”
- “Check out that wall. Where'd you get it. Walmart?”
- “Mmm, I'd valentine that.”
- “I was back on the right side of the law. So why did it feel so wrong?”
- — "Fingers-loose"
- “Am I crazy or is that, like, the dreamiest fox scientist ever?”
- “Is it bad to be attracted to a cartoon fox that you don't even know that well?”
- “In the game of okay or not okay, I am not okay!”
Season 12[]
- “Oh, my God. No! Uh, stopping midstream. Okay, sort of stopped. Louise! No, no!”
- “No wands in ponds! No wands in ponds!”
- “Everyone can just like what they like and be who they are, and that's okay.”
- — to Louise Belcher, "Manic Pixie Crap Show"
- “Hey, what if we all put tape over our mouths until Grandpa gets here? That could be fun.”
Season 13[]
- “Louise, I know we're not always going to want to do the same things, but I'll always have your back.”
- — "Putts-giving"
- “Mom, are you a senior yet?”
- “I can't help. I'm busy doing this: (groaning)”
- “The truth will keep me warm.”
- “Justice will be my jacket. And also this jacket.”
Season 14[]
- “Is Mom okay? I'm only asking 'cause she ran out of the room crying.”
- “Aw, Scott Baggs seems really vulnerable right now. That's hot.”
- “I WON THE LOTTERY! I WON THE LOTTERY! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! DOES ANYONE WANNA SHARE IT? UH, COME ON OVER HERE. TO ME!”
- “Sometimes I call french fries "spud buddies."”
- — "To Catch a Beef"
Other media[]
- “SON OF A BUTT!”